Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream Hash

On Wednesday night the

twentieth of June

At seven to eat and 9:16 for trail

To Fairfax beach on lovely Lake Monroe

Cum join us on Midsummer’s night to hash.

 

Come now; what masques, what dances shall we have,

To wear away this long age of two hours

Between our after-supper and the hash?

Then we, with pretty and

with swimming gait

Will cool ourselves on lovely Fairfax beach

Fetch ye a drink; and be thou back again

Ere the hariettes can swim another league.

 

For when the sun has dipped b

ehind the hills

And darkness starts to fall upon the trail

We will, fair queen, up to the mountain’s top,

And mark the musical confusion

Of hounds and echo in conjunction.

 

Out from the wood we’ll hear the anguished cries:

“Weaving spiders, come not here;

Hence, you long-legg’d spinners, hence!

Beetles black, approach not near;

Worm nor snail, do no

offence.

You spotted snakes with double tongue,

Thorny hedgehogs, be not seen;

Newts and blind-worms, do no wrong,

Come not near us down in this ravine.”

But out of this wood do not desir

e to go:

Thou shalt remain here, whether thou wilt or no.

The hares are venturous fairies that

shall seek

The squirrel’s hoard, and fetch thee new nuts.

 

Now, when thou hashest

, with thine own fool’s eyes peep.

At odd reversals, some more strange than true:

And though you never have before believed

In antique fables, nor these fairy stories.

Hares and madmen have such seething brains,

Such shaping fantasies,
More than cool reason ever comprehends. that apprehend

On after first? And then the hash?

It’s just the first of many backward sights of

Fairy mischief on Midsummer’s night.

 

Friends, perchance you wonder: Whence this show?;

But wonder not, the truth make all things plain.

The hares are ‘Shucker, if you would know;

And beauteous lady Biblio certain.

 

On after four, and trail is six

But never have you followed flour before?

Keep the rich worth of your virginity.

We prefer to have your comp’ny more

And after down downs virgins then will see

G., what fools these mortals be!

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