It’s that time of year again…time to dust off the scarlet A-line princess V-neck, the crimson strapless tulle bridesmaid dress, the merlot mermaid spaghetti-strap maxi dress, the blush short sleeve shelf bra dress, the wine chiffon babydoll nightgown, the pink satin peekaboo bustier, the garnet lace-front bikini panties…wait, where was I?
Oh yeah, it’s the 21st ANNUAL BLOOMING FOOLS HASH HOUSE HARRIERS’ RED DRESS HASH, happening April 21 starting at 2pm at some location around Bloomington (still TBD). What’s the Red Dress Hash, you ask? It’s a glorious hash tradition observed by hashes around the world in which, once a year, everyone on trail wears a red dress. (Click here for a history of the Red Dress Hash. We’ll be raising money at the start for a cool local charity, so bring a couple of extra bucks for a good cause.) The rule of the Red Dress Hash: Harriers, harriettes, hash dogs, hash companion animals, whatever’s on trail wears a dress. This year’s Red Dress hash is going to be redder than ever, including a shitty trail around the rest of Drunk Bloomington during Little 500 weekend, dinner, snacks, good beer, alternative beverages, good beer. All for a mere $15.
Registration has closed, so if you’re coming, bring your $15 to the start. Here’s the scoop on how it’s going to go down.
The trail is A to B this year, and we’re planning to have hashers park at the end of trail and be shuttled via an enormous passenger van by an astoundingly sober driver to the start of the trail. The end of trail is the Sycamore Shelter in Cascades Park, at the corner of W Club House Drive and N Old Martinsville Rd in Cascades Park. (It’s the shelter you don’t have to cross the creek to get to.) That’s where you want to park.
When you arrive at Cascades, we will give you your swag, which you can stash in your vehicle, and then we will shuttle you as quickly as possible to the real start of trail. Shuttling will start at 1:30 (or, whenever we fill the van with the first load of wankers).
NOTE two things: First: There aren’t THAT many spaces in the lot at Cascades, so you’ll probably want to carpool as much as possible. Second: There will be no hash beer at the parking area, nor will there be any alcohol tolerated in the shuttle van. It’s Red Dress weekend, people, so the cops will be looking for suspicious vehicles containing dozens of hashers in red dresses. But never fear, there will be plenty of beer at the start of the trail.
What does that mean for you? That means, the people who miss the first shuttle load will have to wait at Cascades till the van gets back before they can be taken to the start, where the beer is. On the other hand, the people who do get on the first shuttle load will have to sit around at the start of the trail, waiting for the second shuttle load — but they’ll have beer. I know which group I’d rather be part of….
Trail will officially start as soon as we get everybody to the start of trail, but if you show up at 3, don’t expect the shuttle to still be operating. If you have questions or concerns, let us know in a PM or a comment below. This hash trail will rock, and we look forward to seeing YOU in your lovely and phenomenally attractive red dress. Welcome to the greatest college hash weekend! ON ON!