Every hasher in Bloomington liked shiggy a lot…
But Pigf*cker, who lived just north of Bloomington, did not!
Pigf*cker hated shiggy! The whole thorny crap!
And one night, when he’d just settled down to his nap,
He awoke with a fart – what was he hearing?
Hashers at beer check, drinking, and cheering?
The hashers, in a circle, downing good beer,
To celebrate another truly lousy, shitty year?
Speaking of trails, long and short, flour and chalk,
Of trails when hashers started out running, and ended in a walk.
Pigf*cker groaned to himself, rolled over, and spewed,
“Hashers are the loudest, dumbassest, and rude.”
Until the moment Pigf*cker sat up, stock straight in his bed,
Because he’d heard some dumbass wanker rashly say…”head.”
HEAD? Who said head?!
The Blooming Fools Hash is celebrating the 69th annual Blooming Fools Jingle Balls Hash on Saturday, December 8, with a trail starting at 2pm and the Jingle Ball itself starting at 6:30! Trail will start at some disreputable place in Monroe County (details to come), and the party will be at The Lodge at the corner of 6th Street and Walnut (above the Subway) in downtown Bloomington.
You can join the festivities by paying a mere $30 for both trail and party via the Paypal link below (plus Paypal processing fee) or get your $30 to a mismanager before December 8. If you’re just doing the trail, it’s only $7. But if you do trail and party, you get: shiggy trail from Swallows for Equality and Scary Pooter and possibly others, GOOD beer, orange food, probably some bad beer too, dinner, alternative beverages, hors d’oeuvres, and a super holiday swag gift that you can wear forever (while supplies last, so register today!).
IMPORTANT: The centerpiece of every Jingle Balls Hash since the BFH3 started has been beer. But along with that is the White Elephant gift exchange! Bring a wrapped gift for a hasher, and get a wrapped gift for a hasher! We suggest around $15, but use your imagination – many classic White Elephant gifts have been a lot less than $15, but be creative!
How do I get to sign up for this holiday hump-fest? You can’t sign up online anymore! Pay at the venue! See you at 9th Street Park (Ernest Butler Park) at 2pm! On on! Questions? Email firstname.lastname@example.org!