Beerfestivus for the rest of us! Hash

Beerfestivus for the rest of us!NOTE: This is the first 2016 hash to move to our summer start time of 4:00 PM!

For the wanks who don’t want to rub elbows with hundreds of people to drink beer from small plastic vessels, we bring you the Beerfest-ivus for the rest of us! Admission is cheap, only $7 experienced festival goers (instead of $40), $0 first timers. You will have beer from many (at least two) breweries, the lines will be short (but the trails may be long), the snacks will be orange, parking will be free, and the woods will be our playground!

Location: Yellowwood State Forest – Jackson Creek Trailhead parking lot
GPS Coordinates: 39.192573, -86.345702
Time: 4:00 pm

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Wizest Wasted Wizard Bash

Wizest Wasted Wizard BashRumor has it that a variety of bad beers are plotting to take over Bloomington and the surrounding area–their goal? Utter destruction of anything delicious and drinkable!

Your two wisest (and potentially wasted) wizards, Lick Herp Package and Eight Balls of Fire, request your presence at precisely 3pm this Sunday at Boner’s Lot to combat this travesty!

Alas, we have grown old and fragile–for being a wise and wasted wizard can take a toll on one’s health (believe it or not!). Therefore we will require your assistance in protecting the fine beer of Bloomington from dark forces unknown!

But fear not would be wise/wasted wizards, for we will provide thee with powerful spells to assist you in your quest! And if all goes well, these horrid, nefarious beers will be scattered to the far recesses of the podunk towns surrounding Bloomington for them to drink instead of us! (Because bad beer always finds it’s way back…)

And maybe, just maybe, one of you, and only one, will earn the esteemed title of the Wizest Wasted Wizard. Bragging rights abound!

Intrigued? You should be. Cause this is effing Lick Herp Package’s 10th bash he’s bared/helped bare so expect something crazy!

Admission will be $6. Virgins are free. Duh.

When: Sunday, 4/3 at 3pm
Where: Boner’s Lot <map>

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Easter Kegg Hash & KegHunt

Easter Kegg Hash & KegHuntIt’s time for EASTER KEGG! A mini-event hosted by BFH3 MisManagement. Where will it be? What will it be like? Well, you’ll just have to cum and find out.

Esteemed BFH3 JM Kinsey and veteran hare Titwad are laying us a trail most mysterious… all we know is that we need to arrive on time, because the start location is so awesome we can’t even park there. Meet up in the parking lot behind Oolitic Town Hall at 109 Main Street in Oolitic IN, promptly at 3:00 PM, and wankers will be bussed from there to the start location until 3:15 PM. Why all the mystery? Well, even PH doesn’t know that, but knowing these hares there is a dang good reason to keep you in suspense! Just make sure you get yourself there by 3:00, and since Oolitic is a 25 minute drive from the south side of Bloomington, any wankers who want to carpool are encouraged to meet up at Lucky’s on South Walnut by 2:15, and on-out by 2:30.

If that isn’t enough to entice you, we’re also having our sorta-annual BFH3 Easter Kegg Hunt! This year your JM PH is feeling nostalgic for BFH3 traditions of yore, so this year we’re reviving the classic easter kegg hunt tradition of NOT hunting for eggs with candy and other such innocent nonsense. That’s right wankers, bring your easter baskets because we’re HUNTING FOR BEERS! After the hash is over we’ll turn you wanks loose on a space in which we’ve cleverly and not-so-cleverly hidden a whole bunch of BEERS!

Any beers you find, you can take home or swap with other wankers, and there will be one extra-special beer that will earn you bragging rights AND a free fridge-sized keg for your guzzling pleasure! AND… it won’t cost you one dime extra! Cum one cum all for one of the funnest old-school mini-events of the year!

NOTE: Last bus to start location leaves at 3:15 pm – WE MEAN IT! If you miss the bus you will not be able to find the start point and you will miss the hash and the Kegg Hunt.

$7 Experienced Hashers, free for first-timers.

When: Saturday, March 26 at 3 PM
Where: Parking lot behind Oolitic Town Hall,109 Main St, Oolitic, IN 47451

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Full Worm Moon Hash

Full Worm Moon HashFeeling adventurous? Son of Gucci and The Love Butt are haring a Full Worm Moon Picture Hash. Yup, you read that right. Bring flashlights just in case, but make sure to throw your caution to to the wind.

This is happening Wednesday, March 23rd, starting at 7pm, from the IU Research and Teaching Preserve parking lot on North Headley Rd.

To get to the start, take Fee Lane north across the bypass, like you’re going to Lake Griffy, but turn left into the parking lot once you’ve gone 0.8 miles on Headley Road.

Carpooling recommended, as the parking lot is pretty tiny. The Griffy boat dock lot further down the road would be a good place to carpool from.

The trail will cost a mere $7 if you’ve hashed before, or it’s free if you’ve never done a BFH3 hash trail in your life.)

Cum -celebrate the Full Worm Moon,
Raise rhyta and let our foot falls
Awaken worms to the sounds of Spring
and hashers harrying hares.
Brygos cup int drunk
Bring virgins that we may anoint their feet.

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Fuck Winter Bash

Fuck Winter bashIt’s that jerk Winter’s last day to have legitimate hold on all you crank wankers. So cum and ride with us to give him a proper fuck off and welcome in a kinder, warmer spring. None or very little shiggy on this one so bring the road bikes and leave the snow tires at home. In honor of the stupidity of daylight savings time we have screwed with you a bit more and are starting at 3 instead of 2 so be warned. And feel free to bring some virgins.

Bares: M1A-Hole and Nuns Shall Pass
When: Sunday, Mar 20 at 3pm
Where: North Lot of Bryan Park, 999 S. Stull Ave
How much: $6, free for virgins

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Shots N Shamrocks Hash

Shots N Shamrocks HashCum out for the Shots N Shamrocks Hash, Saturday March 12th. Bring out your “green” gear and hope the luck o’ the Irish be with ya on trail.

More information cumming soon.

Hares: Circuscision & The Vagazzler
When: Saturday, 3/12 at 3pm
Where: Griffy Lake parking lot <map>
How much: $7 Experienced Hashers, free for first-timers.

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Sucky Sharts Shiggy Bash aka “Remember The Alamo!”

Sucky Sharts Shiggy Bash Aka Remember The Alamo!Get a sucky bike, get a shiggy bike, but try not to shart on your bike this sunday for the Sucky Sharts Shiggy Bash! There will be some light to medium shig, so road bikes are not recommended (but may still be doable for the brave). If you need to borrow a hybrid/mtb we may have extras, just ask. The bash will start at Boner’s lot, with more details to cum!

When: Sunday, 3/6 at 2pm
Where: Boner’s Lot <map>
How much: $6, free for virgins

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Leap Year Hash!

Leap Year Hash!Tis the season for leaping! 2016 is a Leap Year…. AKA Bissextile Year! LYN, Leap Year is Near….or Love your Neighbor, Nuts, Nub….whatever we’re hashers….we Love it ALL….Especially a Good Leap. There’s no reason not to cum. Thanks to Caesar we have an extra day this year to hash shitty trail, drink beer, fuck like frogs (they do fuck…I googled it…it’s great stuff) and cum!

Hashers $7
Virgins Free

Dogs, Bunnies, Kitties, Pigs, Frogs, Dinosaurs, and, Fruit Flies welcome to join 🙂

When: Saturday, 2/27 at 3 PM
Where: Sycamore Shelter. Lower Cascades <map>

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Tu-Tu-Tudio Fool Moon Hash

Tu-Tu-Tudio Fool Moon HashWhen was the last time you got tutu hash a Scooby trail? When was the last time you got to see Circus in a circus-themed tutu? Now you can do both! That’s right, you get tutu hares for the price of one! So cum one, cum all! Better yet, cum tutu, cum all! Step right up and join your hares, the none-tutu-timely Circuscision and the wily and elusive Scooby-I’d-Do-Her, on 2/22 as they tiptoe through 2.22 miles of downtown Bloomington.

What? Hashing
Why? To see Circus in a tutu (oh and beer)
When? Monday, 2/22 at 7pm
Where? The Atlas Ballroom – 209 S College Ave
How much? $7 (free for those nu tu tutu)
Tutus? Wear ’em if you got ’em!

Cranium gear recommended in case it gets tutu dark to see.

Tu-Tu! On-On!

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#BashTag

#BashTagThat’s right, #EightBallsOfFire and #FLotsPittsgerald are going to host a #Bash for you thirsty wanks.

#WeWillBringTheBeer
#FunTimesForAll

Meet in the North Lot of Bryan Park (999 S. Stull Ave, #LookItUp) this Sunday at 2:00p to participate.

#WeatherLooksLikeWeather
#BeThereOrBeSquare

Been #BashTaggin’ for years? #SixDollarsFool
Just trying to figure out what’s cool? #Free.

When: Sunday, Feb 21 at 2pm
Where: North Lot of Bryan Park, 999 S. Stull Ave
How much: $6, free for virgins

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