Good evening, hashers!

Forget pro wrestling, "ultimate fighting" is for poofters -- come out this Saturday and join the Blooming Fools Hash House Harriers for the HASH OF THE TITANS! Your hares, Maliblow and Siouxsie, have created a weather-defying trail through the wilderness to commemorate a showdown of epic proportions:

In one corner, wearing brown boxes, a monocle, and a codpiece, is GUINNESS, the flavorful Irish stout, still helping British men with bad teeth get laid at age 250!

In the other corner, in a red, white, and blue jockstrap, flipping off the crowd, is PABST BLUE RIBBON, supposedly selected as America's Best in 1893, and still waiting for another win!

Choose your sides -- do the trail and vote for your favorite* (to be consumed with the usual cornucopia of sweet, salty, and thoroughly unhealthy hash foods). The hares promise a shiggy B to A trail for all.

The HASH OF THE TITANS! starts this Saturday, February 20, at 3 p.m. from the Porthole Restaurant in/outside/sorta near Unionville. The cost is the usual $5 (cheep!) or free for first-timers.

How do you get to the Porthole? Well, here's a link to a map with directions from Chicago to the Porthole (I found this on the Internet, honest, I didn't make it up): http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=2350+N+Clark+St,+Chicag...

Of course, if you don't want to go through Chicago, you could just take 10th Street east from the bypass, past New Unionville, turn left onto Tunnel Road (if you get to Unionville you've gone too far). Then when you're on Tunnel Road, turn right onto South Shore Drive, and look for the Porthole on the left. If you get lost, or you're going to be late and you expect us to wait for you, try calling 812-219-6566. (The official address of the Porthole is 8939 E. South Shore Drive, Unionville.)

ON ON to the HASH OF THE TITANS!
WL

* There will also be alternative beverages, of course, in case you're one of those teabagging third-party voters!