Two virgin hares, LickHerp Package and Hentai Me Up, are fated to pop their cherries this Friday night under the light of the full moon. Neither thought their first time would be with another virgin. They had both watched others do it and it didn’t look that hard (that’s what she said!) To prepare, they read up on the significance of proper (pre)lubrication. They sought guidance from those well-practiced in the art of a good lay, who then shared words of wisdom, such as the importance of leaving a trail of flours to the sweet spot. The most reassuring tip (no, not that one!) of all was that since it’s going to be getting dark and the moon is the best of all mood lighting, the whole thing can be quick and messy, and no one will be disappointed. These virgins may have needed a map and a flashlight and all four hands, but eventually they figured out where all the erogenous zones should be, and now all of you will benefit from their careful study.
Cum to the parking lot west of the Marriott Courtyard (south of the High Speed Tire & Automotive) at 7:00 PM this Friday night. If you’re not a virgin anymore, that’s ok, but you have to pay the price! ($7) Bring a virgin with you and they get laid for free along with all the other virgins, and though you won’t need a map, bring a flashlight, just in case it gets dark and you need to get a closer look at something (like flour… or something). This trail is not necessarily suitable for your four-legged friends. So, if you bring ’em, make sure to bring protection (a leash!).
When: Friday, April 22 at 7 PM
Where: Large Parking Lot West of the Marriott Courtyard and South of High Speed Tires and Automotive
How much: $7, free for first-timers
