MenHash a Trois Deux: Le Mariage

11391781_1022743907760570_7706979455431836265_nThis year the Fourth of July is on a Saturday!

And it’s a hash Saturday!

And hashers be gettin’ married!

So how about we celebrate this trifecta of amazing things with beer and r*nning and trees and lake and friends and a couple of hash weddings and beach and a cookout and a nonsensically French-themed Fourth of July hash?

Well, sort of non-sensically. You see, almost five years ago PH and ET made plans to meet up at on-after for MènHash à Trois, a semi-Bastille Day inspired hash with a trio of hariettes. In the same week, Sweet Ho and Rubix had their very first date after meeting on fb through yet another fellow hasher. THEN, a few weeks ago, PH and ET got married. And THEN, within that same week, SH and Rubix got married. And PH is a Francophile anyway, and the French gave us the statue of liberty, and there are no lake fireworks this year so we might as well all pretend it’s because we’re too sophisticated to blow shit up on the 4th. Or whatever, I don’t care, it’s French themed. So bust out the berets and head to Fairfax SRA and party the day away!

ET and $hot are going to lay us a trail. Then we’re going to hash. Then we’re going to circle and hash-marry up RubHo and Physical Tube. THEN everyone who doesn’t have anything better to do than hang out at a beach side shelter and drink more beer and eat food someone else cooked and look at/swim in/scramble into the lake from a scenic overlook with lots of dripping wet sexy hashers for the low low price of $15 (hash included!) will do all of those things until we get kicked out of the shelter at 11:00 PM. There are even showers! Sound good? You know it does.

Bring: Parks Pass, Swimsuit, Float toys, Change of Clothes, Beret/FrenchMaid Outfit/Mime Costume/ whatever says “americans celebrating fourth of july French style at a lake with a cookout” to you, OR if you’d like to participate in the hash wedding itself, wear a bridesmaid/flour girl dress and help get these wanks HITCHED.

TLDR:
Where: Fairfax SRA Beach Shelter
When: July 4, 2015 @ 4:00 PM
What: Hash + Legendary Hash Wedding + 4th of July party
How Much: $15 for trail + beer + swag + more beer + awesome hash wedding + lake + dinner + hashers + party + BEER
$7 for trail + beer

Map here..

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Sloppy Seconds Fool Moon Hash

10414844_10105224722017128_2650009991674599398_nWhat’s that you say? No time to hash? Nonsense! Why? Because our beer-addled, drunk-ass planet is all wobbly and can’t keep it’s shit together like it’s on White Lightning time or something. So science is all set to fiddle with our grandfather cocks(!) and will hand you a whole extra second to play with. What ever will you do with all that new free time? Hash, of course! Don’t give it a second thought. You’re a(u) natural, and hashing is second nature to you. And who will lead you forth on this second hash in less than a week? Why your trustworthy hare, Circuscision, who thought he’d be all alone but then was overjoyed to discover that there would be a second hare, Weird Al Spankabitch! So as we start the second half of the year, cum get a second helping of hashing for the week. You’ve actually got a second to waste now, so your hares propose that you cum get sloppy and use all those sloppy seconds with your wanks! Seconded?

What: Fool Moon Hash
Why: Beer
How much: $7 if you’re already sloppy; Free if you’re willing to give us a second
When: 7pm (give or take a second)
Where: On second thought, we’ll start at our second home (Atlas) just down the way from the erstwhile Second Story.

The Atlas Bar
209 S College Ave, Bloomington, Indiana 47404

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Summer School Hash

11407221_10207058275319559_1019432230803909496_nSo, you made some questionable choices during the school year, cut class once too often, or cussed out the teacher. Congratulations, you’ve earned yourself a ticket to summer school! In order to graduate you’ll have to follow the trail but luckily the final exam will be a group effort! The session will begin at 4:00 pm at the old stone mill on Kegg Dr. First time repeaters will have their tuition waived, fifth year seniors will pay $7 (includes all lab fees). Cum join Principal Weird Al and the Creamiest teachers around for a day of mind numbing lectures, er properly scaffolded educational opportunities! BTW – this means there will be a trail and there will be beer.
When: Saturday June 20th at 4:00 pm
Where: Old Woolery Stone Mill. Take Tapp Rd to Kegg Dr and turn right at the stop sign by the gymnastics/soccer gym. Park in the circle drive.
What: Shitty trail with beer. Eagles should bring a form of cranium illumination.
Price: first timers are free, repeaters are $7

Map: https://goo.gl/9PMcHk

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(funny bash event name)

11412105_10207093362919024_6769359854641934951_n
Sunday just so happens to be Pop Goes the Weasel Day. It’s also Bourbon Day. It’s also Strawberry Shortcake Day. It’s also Flag Day. With all that packed into one day, I say it’s high time to ride our beers and drink our bikes and admire the summertime weather with friends.

So, you are invited to spend Pop Flags the Bourbon Shortcake Day on a bash. Your bares will be Nuns Shall Pass and Hand’ersome Pooper and your trail will start at Salt Creek Cycles (4001 E 3rd St).

When? Sunday June 14 at 3pm, BST
How much? $6 for those with popped weasels, free for those with weasels intact (virgins)
Where? Jeezuz I already told you, Salt Creek Cycles, 4001 E 3rd St

Cum play with us!

Directions: Take Third Street east from town, past the bypass, and past BloomingFoods. Go straight at the light at Smith Road, but look for Salt Creek Cycles on the left after the light at Smith. On on.

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Fiddler on the Dam Wild Hare Hash

Fiddles in town. Fiddles want hare. So Fiddles hare. Come hash with Fiddles. You meet Fiddles at boathouse parking lot, across the parkway on North Hinkle Road (Fiddles give GPS later). You do it now. You get beer. Fiddles give free for virgins, $7 for people not virgin.
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Hares: Fiddler on the Poop & Circuscision
When: Saturday, June 13, 2015
Where: Griffy Lake boathouse lot
Time: 4:00 p.m.

Directions: Take the 45/46 bypass to the corner of Fee Lane and the bypass, and instead of turning south, turn north onto Matlock Road. Drive till you cross the lake, then turn right into the boathouse parking lot. Park, hash hash hash.

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Shark in the Bush Hash

11406765_10206432717952342_7031633643874556314_n40 years ago this week, the movie Jaws was released, instilling a generation with the dread fear that they could be happily dog-paddling in the ocean one moment and chewed into fish kibble the next. We can’t provide an ocean for this week’s trail, but who needs rows of serrated teeth when we’ve got shiggy that’ll draw blood just as well?

Your hare will be White Lightning, and trail will start from the parking lot of the Bryant Creek shelterhouse at Morgan-Monroe State Forest this Saturday at 4pm. If you survive the crappy trail, there’ll be beer and orange snacks and more beer. It’ll cost you $6 if you’re old and grizzled like Roy Scheider, or it’s free if you’ve never hashed with the Fools before.

When: Saturday, June 6, 4–7pm

Where: Bryant Creek Lake Martinsville, Indiana 47408 (map)

Directions: Take Walnut Street north past the bypass. At the light at the bottom of the hill, turn right onto North Old State Road 37. Go about 8 miles or so to Morgan-Monroe State Forest on your right. Turn right into the forest, and go a very short distance and turn right again. Go down the hill, park, and hash.

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Kinsey’s hash mama’s Mama’s Mama’s Day Hash

11174592_1019898178020646_373135028408958936_oMama Says Pop You Out and I Kinsey UR Butthole bring you the “Kinsey’s hash mama’s Mama’s Mama’s Day Hash” aka “Mama’s superscript 3 Hash.”

When? Saturday, May 9, 2015 at 3 pm.
How much? $6 for experienced Mama’s. Expectant mama’s (virgins) are free.
Why? Because beer, Because Mama needs her medicine. Because you’re the reason Mama drinks.
Where? At Mama’s – 3888 N. Upper Birdie Galyan Road.

Directions:
Take 10th Street east until it becomes SR45 (beyond the bypass), then turn right on Mt. Gilead Rd which is just before you get to the Mt. Gilead Church. Continue on Mt. Gilead Rd for about 3.7 miles. Turn right onto North Birdie Galyan Road and take the IMMEDIATE left onto the gravel driveway. Bear right and continue until you find hashers.

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2015 BFH3 RED DRESS HASH!

Hey, Saturday April 25 is the 16th or so ANNUAL BLOOMING FOOLS RED DRESS HASH!

For info, or to register, go over here: Link. Be there next Saturday, or be totally gauche.

rdr 2015 jpg

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Power of the Pussy Hash

1508162_975898092445152_5659135723621439507_nJoin your numerous pussy-powered hares Sweet Ho, Souzie Bee, Screwy, Tite, and PH at the first-ever not at all annual Power of the Pussy Hash!

There will be beer and thus far the weather is predicted to be a beauteous and mild 67 degrees and sunny. And there will be lots of sexy hashers there. And an on-site on-after for a mere $9! Oh, and beer.

WHAT? Yes! There will be beer! And possibly fun surprises!

Meet up at the parking lot behind the ranger station at the turnoff for Paynetown, a completely unique and not-at-all unimaginative location that we have definitely not hashed for at least 37 days.

AND we are shifting to our standard summer hash time, 4:00 PM!

TLDR:
Where: Ranger Station at Paynetown
When: 4:00 PM! We are shifting to summer schedule! FOUR PEE EM!
$6 for those experienced with pussy power, $0 for virgins
$9 for on-after

Directions: http://goo.gl/WPPCAa

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Cream in my BUTRz Birthday Hash

10996267_10101569805389484_4851315287849693738_nNearly 29 years ago BUTRz entered this world. Your hares BUTRz, Cream & Jerk, and Nordic Cream Horn will be helping (read: forcing) you all to celebrate this grand occasion by hashing through scenic Nashville, Indiana! The trail will involve numerous perils including water crossings (see below about a highly recommended change of clothing), shiggy, and butt-oriented puns!

You might be wondering what you must pay to attend such a wonderful party? Well, for all seasoned party goers trail will cost $6 but virgin party goers are free.

Trail will begin in the public parking at the end of Washington St. Make sure you park in the rear! The location provided under “Where” will get to the lot, but keep your eyes open for the proper entrance as you wouldn’t want to accidentally park in the wrong hole.

To continue celebrations after trail, current tentative On After is the upstairs bar of Big Woods on Van Buren (a.k.a. the main drive through Nashville). This is walk-able from start so prep a potential change of clothes in the car if you feel the need. NOTE: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOU TRAVEL TO THE HASH WITH YOUR ID AND MONEY.

When: Saturday, March 28, 3:00pm
Where: 155-299 S Sycamore St, Nashville, IN 47448

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