All dates are Saturdays, unless noted. Saturday trails start at 3pm in winter, 4pm in summer (DST starts on Sunday, March XX, and ends on Sunday, November XX).
The 769th Blooming Fools Hash: Yellow Subbeerine Edition
Join the BFH3 for a shiggy-filled psychedelic romp through the wilds of Morgan-Monroe State Forest, visiting along the way:
The Sea of Nettles
The Sea of Spiderwebs
The Sea of Time (In Your Life That You’ll Never Get Back)
and, of course, the Sea of Beer!
The yellowest hasher wins a completely random but certainly alcoholic prize. There’ll be alternative beverages, nonnutritious snacks, and beer for everyone! “All you need is beer…”
The hash will start from Bryant Creek Lake in Morgan-Monroe State Forest. To get there, take Old State Road 37 north to Morgan-Monroe State Forest. Turn right onto the Forest Road, go about 50 yards, and turn right to the Bryant Creek Shelter parking lot. Latitude 39 Longitude -86.
HARE: White Lightning and Imaginary Friend (so far)
CASH: $7, virgins are free
Scots, wha hae from Wallace bred,
Scots, wit hae these hares who led,
Welcome to your gory bed,—
Or to victorie.—
Now’s the day, and now’s the hour;
See the front o’ battle lour;
See approach proud the hash’s power,
Haggis and tatties.—
Who will be a-drunken-knave?
Who can find the trails na paved?
Who sae FRB limitless o brave?
—Let him turn and flie.—
Wha for Scotland’s king and law,
Freedom’s sword will strongly draw,
Free-Man stand, or Free-Man fall,
Let him follow trail.—
By Psycho and Gaelic Pasties’s woes and pains!
Wit your DFLs in gaggling chains!
Wha hounds will drain our dearest veins,
Let there be FREEDOM!
Lay the proud beer-nears low!
Victims fall going toe to toe!
Shitty beer’ll heavily flow!*
Hares bless thy Burns Hash!!!
*Wha beer will NAE be shitty! If it’s nae Scottish, it’s CRAAP!
Cum out to celebrate Rabbie Burns Day (Scootlund’s
second National Day) this January 21 with a festive
fair trail through Blooming fool’s many fine lochs —
Nessie sightings er a wee possibility!
This year we ur daein’ wha a bit special: a rollin’
suppa a seven courses. Na, ya didnae read that wrong!
Cum have a cup of cock-a-leekie soup (yes, I promise
it is real…and that no cocks were hurt in its
making), some smoked posh fish ‘n’ neeps, a tae o’
eggies, a wee bit o’ the haggis, shortbread, some fine
ales and even a shot or two of scotch.
**Donit be a cock bae shown up withae reservations,
fo’ Gaelic Pasties, aka Haggis, will be a screamin!**
Feel free tae run, donder, or waddle. Whitevur lifts
yer kilt. Trail wull be friendly to runners and
walkers, all levels o’ fitness and skill save the
cabers for a wae. Ye wull ainlie need a girth o’
enthusiasm ‘n’ a stoatin thirst.
We’ll meet by at the IU Memorial Stadium (the spot
cheekied up against those auld muckle guns on the West
Hares: Gaelic Pasties n Psychadelic Cum Fountain
First time lasses and lads dram ‘n’ run for free, but
pay $20 for supper.
Kilters wae hae awready promised loyalty tae William
Wallace pay $25 for trail (a wee cost fur proper
Wanks shuid feel freedom tae participate in Rabbie
Burns festivities as every Scot’s wish, as it
promises tae be a richt guid time wi’ a pure menu.
Appropriate dress (kilt and sporran, or at least some
plaid and tweed) strongly encouraged, but not
required. Painting one’s face Braveheart style also
encouraged, but hasen’t required.
Filthy, dirty English version:
Come out to celebrate ROBERT BURNS DAY (Scotland’s second national day) this January 21 with a festive trail through BFH3’s…land? You might find Nessie.
This is a special trail with a rolling dinner…on trail! Seven courses unless Gaelic Pasties gets too drunk to dish it out. There will be 100% delicious Scottish food. There will be Scottish-style beer and Scotch!
Don’t be an asshole and show up without me taking your reservation into account. I stay up for 3 days straight making the food and making sure I don’t run out. But, don’t let that stop you either. I’d rather you be an asshole and let me taunt you about it than decide to go to the library or something stupid (just kidding, I love libraries. You can go any other time besides January 21).
Feel free to run, walk, skip or do a fling through trail. Psycho and I will make a perfect trail.
Where: 2407 N Barbara Dr. Bloomington, IN 47408
Hares: Psycho and Garlic Pastries.
Trail dollars: $20 for virgins and $25 for hashers (it’s worth it, ask anyone who has come in the past).
This will be a really fun day. Gay, some would say.
Dress in a kilt if you can; it’s highly encouraged. Paint your face is you are brave. I like Brave <3
When: Saturday, 1/21 at 2 PM
Where: 2407 N Barbara Dr. Bloomington, IN 47408
How much: $25, $20 for virgins
Rego at the event today!
We’ll circle up in the parking lot across from hash practice at The Atlas, 202 S College Ave Bloomington
Cranial illumination would be a good idea.
How much? $7, virgins are free!
This is not another back to school hash. In fact, by the looks of the weather forecast, chances are you may not even call it a hash. In fact, if the Olympic judges were around this hash Saturday, they’d probably give this group of delirious half minded hashers a gold medal in synchronized swimming. Alas, we’ll press on and persevere. In fact, we’ll probably pass Noah in a boat, mooning us with a couple of baboons. Don’t let all that dissuade you wanks from coming out. It’ll be one of the last times, not talking Revelations here, that we can enjoy ourselves without those meddling kids (read: undergrads). Solving mysteries on trail, however, is not allowed. In fact, actively dissuaded. One thing you can guarantee on, is that your hares Brings Up The Rear (just call him BUTRz) and Get A Classroom will provide you with an amazingly shitty trail… or at least a trail… well… maybe just beer… on second thought… at least this hash invite.
For folks who routinely read BUTRz ranty hash invites and have hashed before the cost is $7. For all you poor folks who have not (i.e., virgins), it’s free!
Hares: Brings Up The Rear & Get A Classroom
Start location: Park Ridge East Park (most likely the shelter)
Cost: $7 for hashers, Free for Virgins
This year’s bashelversary will be on our regularly scheduled bash date of 9/4, the Sunday of Labor Day Weekend, at our regular time (3:00p). It will run a little later than most bashes (perhaps plan ahead, if your half-mind is capable?), but most of us should have the following day off from work to recover before Tuesday!
Mismanagement will be baring the bashelversary trail. Herp and Pitts are planning a multi-beer-check route with a delicious cookout (we will have vegetarian options available!) and probably a fair amount of dope-ass games/contests at individual stops. It is sure to be the most interesting and well-lubricated trail of the summer.
And yes, I know everyone is a huge fan of the sweet, declicious taste of BRL 72, but mismanagement wants to live the good life (even just for the day) in celebration of the Blooming Fools Bash, so come with a nearly unquenchable thirst, and get excited to enjoy quality beers, ciders, and wine on trail before, during, and after the cookout!
– If you have bashed more than 6 times this calendar year, the event is entirely free (the trail, the booze, and the food).
– If you haven’t been bashing regularly this year, but want to ride the trail, drink your fill, and join in on the feast, the cost is $10.
– If you haven’t been bashing regularly this year, but want to ride and drink your fill while skipping the feast, the cost is the normal price of $6.
– Virgins are highly encouraged to join us! To ride, drink, and eat, we would like $4 cost for food, but virgins may ride the trail and drink with the Blooming Fool Bashers for free like any other trail.
Herp and Pitts will be releasing more details regarding the route, drinks, food, etc. in the coming weeks. Hopefully, we can get an accurate head count to ensure a perfect celebration that everyone can enjoy. Actually, we will probably get really annoying as the date gets closer and we demand (repeatedly) an accurate head count.
But for now . . . On-On!
When: Sunday 9/4 at 3pm
Where: Boner’s Lot
How much? $10 or $6 or $4, read above
Location: IUB Parking Operations, 310 S Fess Ave, Bloomington, Indiana
The 2016 Libido Games, hared by Tri-Harder and Three Hole Punched, will provide the best possible aphrodisiacs for peak performance. Wankers will enjoy world-class shiggy, hashing through the MDP (Mesolimbic Dopamine Pathway), compactly layed for maximum endurance. Assuming you will be wet during your pursuit for a high libido, a torch will be carried on trail, commemorating the Greek God Eros and the hapPenis he brings us. (No worries…there won’t actually be a flame….we’re not that responsible). Gold will be earned by all attending wankers. No training necessary, cum as you are. Your renewed libido will consume the need for any initially required refractory period, allowing the pursuit to cum to an end with multiple orgies in the midst of the Olympic Village. The village location will be announced once the torch has been brought back home – We don’t want any champions winning without us.
$7 for prior competitors
Free for new athletes
With fond memories of their first full moon lay, Hentai and Herp thought it would be fun to re-live that experience once again.
Join them as they try their best to lay an even shittier, fuckier, wackier, and psychadelic trail than before! Big shoes to fill, they know, but it can and will be done.
Returning wanks better cough up $7 to attend–virgin wanks are free!
More details to cum…..
…..and here they are!
-hash is crazy rainbow color-themed so come decked out in some crazy colors. If it doesn’t make us hares color-blind, you didn’t do it right….
-damn Mother Nature is making things get slightly darker slightly earlier so bring some cranial lights
-minimal shiggy although who knows, your hares might get all evil up on this trail….
-true trail roughly 3 miles for DFLs; FRBs, prepare for some fun 😛
The dog days of summer traditionally started with the July appearance and rise at sunrise of Sirius, the dog star, and the dog of Orion, the hunter. Join the Blooming Fools and your hares White Lightning and Three Hole Punched to celebrate the start of the dog days of 2016, and to hunt for the beer check amid the malicious shiggy of Yellowwood State Forest. The trail is generally dog-friendly, if your dog is able to vault the occasional downed tree.
BTW, in some places, the shiggy will be harsh, and in other places, the shiggy will be downright mean. I fell while I was scouting trail, my wallet came out of my pocket, and the shiggy made fun of my driver’s license picture. That’s how mean this shiggy is. The ticks were spraying each other with deet just to show how tough they are. Heck, my shoe came off in some ankle-deep mud, and the shiggy threw it in the other direction just to spite me. Mean shiggy! Just mean! You’ve been warned!
The Dog Days trail will start at 4:00pm on Saturday, July 16, at the Yellowwood State Forest HEADquarters parking lot off of Yellowwood Lake Road. Take 46 east from Bloomington to Yellowwood Road. (It’s on the left, and there’ll be a brown sign pointing left as you approach it.) Follow Yellowwood Road to the lake – you’ll wind around, cross an iron bridge, and turn left at a T. Then you’ll wind up and down hills until you come to a sign with directions; go right, not toward the dam. Pass a house on the left, pass the first campground on the left, and then turn left toward the Forest HEADquarters. Then park in one of the 10 spaces near the playground. https://goo.gl/maps/
Yes, there are only about 10 spaces for parking, so please carpool!
Where: Yellowwood State Forest, Forest Office parking lot
When: Saturday, July 16, 4:00pm
How much: $7 for old dogs, free for first-time pups
Cum visit Anal 500 and Wooden Rim Job on a gravel-y bash in the wonderful town of Gosport!
We will be leaving from our front lawn (side walk) at 3pm and embarking on a rather long, maybe 10 or 15 mile (true trail) journey. Don’t worry, there will be beer checks this time.
It will be long. It will be ribbed for her pleasure. Well, gravel-ed for her pleasure.
Brian and I just scouted the route. Be prepared for road, gravel, sand, water, grass, and uh, beer. Brian had a great time on his mountain bike. I had a pretty good time on my trucker.
When: Sunday, July 10, 3:00pm
Where: Grey Dog Gallery, 31 E Main St, Gosport, IN https://goo.gl/maps/CPn8S2kTUxk
How much: $6 for regulars, free for first-timers