Full Worm Moon Hash

11010554_10205713552933666_6811187306853492576_nYour hare is Son of Gucci, and here’s the message he left for hashers:

Cum -celebrate the Full Worm Moon,
Raise rhyta and let our foot falls
Awaken worms to the sounds of Spring
and hashers harrying hares.
Brygos cup int drunk
Bring virgins that we may anoint their feet.

(Fine print: This is happening Thursday, March 5, starting at 6:30pm, from the IU Research and Teaching Preserve parking lot on North Headley Rd. The trail will cost a mere $6 if you’ve hashed before, or it’s free if you’ve never done a BFH3 hash trail in your life. To get to the start, take Fee Lane north across the bypass, like you’re going to Lake Griffy, but turn left into the parking lot once you’ve gone 0.8 miles on Headley Road. Carpool, carpool, carpool, because that’s a seriously tiny parking lot. On on!)

Map: http://goo.gl/kdXz9F

GPS: 39.191778, -86.511973

 

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Tooth Fairy Hash

224610_10205682377794307_6388809694345289403_nWho knew that the Tooth Fairy, that man/woman who steals into our children’s bedrooms and exchanges their teeth for a buck or so has his/her own holiday. Actually, he/she has two holidays: Feb 28 and Aug 22. We’ll celebrate the tooth thief’s existence with a teeth-rattling shiggy-filled winter extravaganza of a trail this Saturday, February 28, starting at 3 pm from the ranger station at Paynetown State Recreation Area, on State Road 446 south of Bloomington.

Your hares will be Mongolian Moneyshot, Princess Tiny Box and White Lightning, and there will be special beer check alcoholic frippery in honor of one of the hares’ recent life accomplishments. For veteran hashers, gallivanting about with the rest of the wankers will cost you $6. If you’ve never hashed before, it’ll cost you nothing, but you have to agree to come back because the next trail might be better.

Directions to the start: Take Third Street east to State Road 446 and turn right onto 446. Go 5.3 miles, and turn right into the Paynetown State Recreation Area. Take the first right and park behind the Paynetown Ranger Station. If you reach the shack where they charge you money to get in, you’ve gone too far. Park behind the ranger station, smell the fresh healthy winter air, and hash. (Please carpool, because there aren’t that many parking spaces behind the ranger station.) On on!

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Revenge of the Valentine’s Day Hash (A.K.A. The First Ever Lupercalia Festival)

It’s that time again wankers. Last year Screwy and BUTRz took you on a waltz around Bloomington following not flour but pictures posted on the hash event page. This year, barring an unforeseen blizzard, they’ll actually lay a trail you can follow, though no guarantee it will map out a heart. The trail will celebrate love, cumraderie, and bad decisions made after drinking.
10407189_10101507529036794_3240861651103600133_n
Cum join use to help release health and fertility across Bloomington. For all you lonely hearts, trail will cost you $6 bucks. For all you non-lonely hearts, trail will cost you $6 bucks. Since virgins are highly prized, especially on valentines day, they hash for free.

The hash will start at the IU Cross Country Course parking lot at the usual 3:00 PM start time.

Note: We may be parked across the street due to the muddiness of the original cross country parking lot.

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Revenge of the Groundhog Fool Moon Hash

10968462_963601256983672_3221019092138068366_nFool moon hash with your wanking friends!

Where? Park Ridge East basketball courts
When? 7pm, Monday Feb 2 (hares away at 7:15pm)
Beer? You bet your sweet ass there’ll be beer!
Hares? Gargle Nuts and Hand’ersome Pooper
How much? $6 (cheap!) for hashers, $0 for virgins

Map – https://goo.gl/maps/PLa1v

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Ham the Chimp Hash

January 31st, 1961: Ham the Chimp (aka Ham the Astrochimp) became the first Hominidae launched into space. Ham’s name is an acronym for the lab which prepared him for his historic mission — the Holloman Aerospace Medical Center, located at Holloman Air Force Base in New Mexico.

10858629_10206025578345077_3887684982264569904_n Join your hares Circuscision and Nuns Shall Pass for a celebration of this historic event. We’ll have chimp-appropriate snacks at beer check and the usual monkey business. Monkey shoes are appropriate.

$6 for experienced chimps, virgin chimps are free (limit 1 per customer).

Trail starts at the Twin Lakes parking lot on 2nd Street near the ball fields at 3:00pm on Saturday, January 31.
https://goo.gl/maps/vO8VH

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Robbie Burns Bash

10838210_10152654077043450_3101692689452920055_o“Freedom and Whisky gang thegither,
Tak oft yer dram!
Down yer heavy, straddle yer bike,
Lest we a’ ur damned!”
– Robert Fucking Burns, aka The Bard

Cum out to celebrate Robbie Burns Day (Scootlund’s second National Day) this January 25 at 2:00pm with a festive fair trail through Bloomington’s many fine lochs — Nessie sightings ur a wee possibility!

We’ll meet in the parking lot between the Bloomington Convention Center and High Speed Tire & Automotive (the parking lot cheekied up against the B-Line, 319 S Madison St.).

Event will include a rolling supper. Na, ya didnae read that wrong! Cum have a cup of cock-a-leekie soup (yes, I promise it is real…and that no cocks were hurt in its making), a bit o‘ the haggis, shortbread, some fine ales and perhaps even a shot or two of scotch.

Bares: Mothershucker, Gaelick Pasties ‘n’ F. Lotts Pittsgerald, wi’ a wee bit o’ hulp fae Biblio.

First time lasses and lads dram ‘n’ ride for free.
Kilters wae hae awready promised loyalty tae William Wallace pay $6 (a wee cost fur freedom).

Trail wull be friendly to all bike types, levels o’ fitness and skill. Ye wull ainlie need a girth o’ enthusiasm ‘n’ a stoatin thirst.

Appropriate dress (kilt and sporran, or at least some plaid and tweed) strongly encouraged, but not required. Painting one’s face Braveheart style also encouraged, but still not required.

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The Big Thaw Hash

10914903_10153108973698706_7880897423667182516_o40F? Clear skies? Shiggy trail? Starts almost from your backyard? Beer?

You better come out and thaw your frozen buns.

Bring your $6, virgins are free. (I think that came out wrong)

Start time:
3:00pm, 1/17/2015, Saturday.

Location:
IU Cyclotron Parking lot.
2425 N Milo B Sampson Ln, Bloomington, IN 47408

https://www.google.com/maps/dir/39.1907713,-86.5221104//@39.1912387,-86.5211051,17z/data=!4m2!4m1!3e0

Your hares will be EweTube and Upright Position (I think)

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Knob Knob Knob Hash

dorset-knob_1886792iNothing but knobs on this hash. Well, and some shiggy. Plenty of shiggy, actually. You want shiggy? There’ll be shiggy. And knobs. You want knobs? Lost your knobs? How many knobs you need? We got knobs. Knobs knobs knobs. Who said knob? Your hares will be Mothershucker, Bibliosex, and White Lightning. Oh, and there’ll be beer, too. And snackish items. Next to the knobs. And the shiggy. And beautiful Southern Indiana winter terrain. Knob on!

If you have hashed before, you’re probably a knob, so it’ll cost you $6. If you’re new to hashing, it’s free.

The knobtacular trail starts at the TC Steele State Historic Site this Saturday, January 3, at 3:00pm. Take Third Street east from town, it’ll turn into State Road 46. From the intersection with State Road 446, go 7.5 miles, and turn right onto TC Steele Road. (Look for the sign on the right.) Take TC Steele Road about 1.5 miles, and look for the parking lot just past the main TC Steele house/museum place. Park. Hash.

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Santa’s Been a Bad Bad Boy Hash

imageThursday Dec 25, 3pm

Griffy Lake Boathouse

It’s a hash. With beer. And trail. And beer. $6 for hasher’s. Free for virgins.

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The I’m Not Dead Yet Hash

10846170_10101406988760314_2699975102055598315_n

Your hares BUTRz, Screw It I’m Wet, and Psychadelic Cum Fountain are here to remind you that “We’re Not Dead Yet”. Jack be damned! We’re here to invite you to a barely live hare hash starting in _Park Ridge Park_ (not to be confused with Park Ridge East Park — look at the address). We’re here to remind you that even though it’s winter, Nature isn’t quite dead yet either, but hopefully by 12/20 Bloomington will be!

<Insert more funny hash event information here>

As always, Virgins are free, alive or dead. Everyone else is $6.

Where: Park Ridge Park, 3421 E Longwood Ave., Bloomington
When: 3:00 pm, Saturday, December 20

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