The Hashlor Hash

The Hashlor HashCome and join us for the world premiere of: The Hashlor

Circle of Snatch left town leaving Count Motorboat, Ah Ah Ah all alone
He is now ready to choose his new Hashmate
Many wanks but only one will get the Final Rose!

Starts at 4 pm at Upper Cascades Park, Lions Den shelter (by the entrance of the golf course, W Club house Dr, Bloomington, IN 47404)

$7 for wanks, FREE for Virgins

The Count said “Come and you will get wet Ah Ah Ah”
He also said “Don’t forget your virgin(s) Ah Ah Ah”

Yours truly,
Count Motorboat Ah Ah Ah & Princess Tiny Box

When: Saturday, 8/1 @ 4pm – 8pm
Where: Upper Cascades Park, 3550 N Kinser Pike, Bloomington, Indiana 47404

 

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The Moon Is Made Of Cheese II Cheese Harder

The Moon Is Made Of Cheese II Cheese HarderMany of you may remember the Moon is Made of Cheese. The hash created when Sweet Ho came to (on?) BUTRz in a dream. She said if you make them grilled cheese they will cum (too). He awoke in a sweat realizing what he must do. He enlisted the help of Jizzy and Sweet Ho (the not dream one) and hared a mightily cheesy trail filled with PBR Fondue and Grilled Cheese Infused Vodka (all Sweet Ho’s idea). Well… the time has come for the Cheese to ride again! This time around BUTRz enjoyed by his co-hares Nuns Shall Pass and Spreadsheets To The Wind to bring you an udderly Cheesy time.

Come Hungry! Expect cheese and carbs to unite within your stomach to make you a happy hasher.

Stinky Aged Hashers: $7.00
Virgin Cheeses: Free

When: Friday, 7/31 @ 7pm
Where: 2040 W Cory Drive, Bloomington, IN 47403  <map>

Note from the hares:

Please do not park in the round – about, but feel free to park in the driveway if there is room.

While dogs deserve all the cheese in the world, this is not a dog – friendly hash.

On-cheese!

BTW, cranial illumination and shiggy socks might be a good idea.

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“Yeah, Saturday at 2pm. 9th Street Park. Fairview Street parking lot” Bash

Mothershucker is hosting a MS’ing Bash.

MS Bash

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where: 9th St Park (9th & Fairview), Bloomington, IN 47404
When: Saturday, July 25 @ 2:00 PM
How Much: $6 for the crew. Bring yo new friends for free.

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The Hands Upright Hash

The Hands Upright HashOK everyone tis be the saturday after a non-hashing saturday. That means it is time to hash again. Everyone assume your jizz positions … please keep your hands and sexy bits to yourself until the ride comes to a complete stop.

Who wants some shiggy? Put your hands upright.
who wants some beer? Put your hands upright.
who wants some trains? Put your hands upright.
Who wants some stinging nettles? Put your hands upright.
Who wants some ticks? Put your hands upright.
who wants some beer? Put your vessels out.
who wants some beach? Put your hands upright.
who wants some more beer? Put your hands upright.
You want shiggy? You CAN’T HANDle our shiggy.

What: The Hands Upright hash
Where: Lake lemon. 8858 E. Southshore Dr. Unionville IN 47468
Cost: $7 (virgins are free)
When: Saturday, 7/18 @ 4pm

Directions — take SR 45 east until you get to Unionville (NOT NEW Unionville) Turn left (North) onto N Shuffle Creek Rd (it is right after the unionville post office). Follow this until it runs into E South Shore Dr (there is a lake in front of you – time to turn) — Turn right (east) — park where you see hashers on the right (also some parking at Upright’s house which isn’t far away)

This is an A-B… we are on/near a lake – if you wanted to bring swim gear you’ll be happy.

and FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY WEAR SHIGGY SOCKS (only warning you’ll get) — the recent rains have altered our path. Pray we don’t alter it anymore.

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Justs’ Bad-ass and Bodacious Bash’

BodaciousThe first and only Bad-ass and Bodacious Bash this Sunday at 3pm, with your lovable bares Just Andy and Just Pete!! Point A is at a bare’s house, 1400 S Lincoln St. Cum one cum all. More details and beer will be near!

For the Bash on-after, we will be grilling out at a bare’s house instead of collectively spending too much money eating out. That means BYOB please if you can manage it, but we’ll hopefully have more beer available. There will be hamburgers, hot dogs, along with various fixing and sides to soak up all the booze. The hope is those interested in partaking in the on after can pitch in $5 to help cover food expenses. See all you crank-wankers tomorrow!

Where: 1400 S Lincoln St, Bloomington, IN 47401 (map)
When: Sunday, July 12 @ 3:00 PM
How Much: $6 for regulars, free for virgins

 

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MenHash a Trois Deux: Le Mariage

11391781_1022743907760570_7706979455431836265_nThis year the Fourth of July is on a Saturday!

And it’s a hash Saturday!

And hashers be gettin’ married!

So how about we celebrate this trifecta of amazing things with beer and r*nning and trees and lake and friends and a couple of hash weddings and beach and a cookout and a nonsensically French-themed Fourth of July hash?

Well, sort of non-sensically. You see, almost five years ago PH and ET made plans to meet up at on-after for MènHash à Trois, a semi-Bastille Day inspired hash with a trio of hariettes. In the same week, Sweet Ho and Rubix had their very first date after meeting on fb through yet another fellow hasher. THEN, a few weeks ago, PH and ET got married. And THEN, within that same week, SH and Rubix got married. And PH is a Francophile anyway, and the French gave us the statue of liberty, and there are no lake fireworks this year so we might as well all pretend it’s because we’re too sophisticated to blow shit up on the 4th. Or whatever, I don’t care, it’s French themed. So bust out the berets and head to Fairfax SRA and party the day away!

ET and $hot are going to lay us a trail. Then we’re going to hash. Then we’re going to circle and hash-marry up RubHo and Physical Tube. THEN everyone who doesn’t have anything better to do than hang out at a beach side shelter and drink more beer and eat food someone else cooked and look at/swim in/scramble into the lake from a scenic overlook with lots of dripping wet sexy hashers for the low low price of $15 (hash included!) will do all of those things until we get kicked out of the shelter at 11:00 PM. There are even showers! Sound good? You know it does.

Bring: Parks Pass, Swimsuit, Float toys, Change of Clothes, Beret/FrenchMaid Outfit/Mime Costume/ whatever says “americans celebrating fourth of july French style at a lake with a cookout” to you, OR if you’d like to participate in the hash wedding itself, wear a bridesmaid/flour girl dress and help get these wanks HITCHED.

TLDR:
Where: Fairfax SRA Beach Shelter
When: July 4, 2015 @ 4:00 PM
What: Hash + Legendary Hash Wedding + 4th of July party
How Much: $15 for trail + beer + swag + more beer + awesome hash wedding + lake + dinner + hashers + party + BEER
$7 for trail + beer

Map here..

If you want to carpool, we’re meeting in the bank lot near Lucky’s (IU Credit Union if that’s full), leaving at 3:40.

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Sloppy Seconds Fool Moon Hash

10414844_10105224722017128_2650009991674599398_nWhat’s that you say? No time to hash? Nonsense! Why? Because our beer-addled, drunk-ass planet is all wobbly and can’t keep it’s shit together like it’s on White Lightning time or something. So science is all set to fiddle with our grandfather cocks(!) and will hand you a whole extra second to play with. What ever will you do with all that new free time? Hash, of course! Don’t give it a second thought. You’re a(u) natural, and hashing is second nature to you. And who will lead you forth on this second hash in less than a week? Why your trustworthy hare, Circuscision, who thought he’d be all alone but then was overjoyed to discover that there would be a second hare, Weird Al Spankabitch! So as we start the second half of the year, cum get a second helping of hashing for the week. You’ve actually got a second to waste now, so your hares propose that you cum get sloppy and use all those sloppy seconds with your wanks! Seconded?

What: Fool Moon Hash
Why: Beer
How much: $7 if you’re already sloppy; Free if you’re willing to give us a second
When: 7pm (give or take a second)
Where: On second thought, we’ll start at our second home (Atlas) just down the way from the erstwhile Second Story.

The Atlas Bar
209 S College Ave, Bloomington, Indiana 47404

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Summer School Hash

11407221_10207058275319559_1019432230803909496_nSo, you made some questionable choices during the school year, cut class once too often, or cussed out the teacher. Congratulations, you’ve earned yourself a ticket to summer school! In order to graduate you’ll have to follow the trail but luckily the final exam will be a group effort! The session will begin at 4:00 pm at the old stone mill on Kegg Dr. First time repeaters will have their tuition waived, fifth year seniors will pay $7 (includes all lab fees). Cum join Principal Weird Al and the Creamiest teachers around for a day of mind numbing lectures, er properly scaffolded educational opportunities! BTW – this means there will be a trail and there will be beer.
When: Saturday June 20th at 4:00 pm
Where: Old Woolery Stone Mill. Take Tapp Rd to Kegg Dr and turn right at the stop sign by the gymnastics/soccer gym. Park in the circle drive.
What: Shitty trail with beer. Eagles should bring a form of cranium illumination.
Price: first timers are free, repeaters are $7

Map: https://goo.gl/9PMcHk

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(funny bash event name)

11412105_10207093362919024_6769359854641934951_n
Sunday just so happens to be Pop Goes the Weasel Day. It’s also Bourbon Day. It’s also Strawberry Shortcake Day. It’s also Flag Day. With all that packed into one day, I say it’s high time to ride our beers and drink our bikes and admire the summertime weather with friends.

So, you are invited to spend Pop Flags the Bourbon Shortcake Day on a bash. Your bares will be Nuns Shall Pass and Hand’ersome Pooper and your trail will start at Salt Creek Cycles (4001 E 3rd St).

When? Sunday June 14 at 3pm, BST
How much? $6 for those with popped weasels, free for those with weasels intact (virgins)
Where? Jeezuz I already told you, Salt Creek Cycles, 4001 E 3rd St

Cum play with us!

Directions: Take Third Street east from town, past the bypass, and past BloomingFoods. Go straight at the light at Smith Road, but look for Salt Creek Cycles on the left after the light at Smith. On on.

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Fiddler on the Dam Wild Hare Hash

Fiddles in town. Fiddles want hare. So Fiddles hare. Come hash with Fiddles. You meet Fiddles at boathouse parking lot, across the parkway on North Hinkle Road (Fiddles give GPS later). You do it now. You get beer. Fiddles give free for virgins, $7 for people not virgin.
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Hares: Fiddler on the Poop & Circuscision
When: Saturday, June 13, 2015
Where: Griffy Lake boathouse lot
Time: 4:00 p.m.

Directions: Take the 45/46 bypass to the corner of Fee Lane and the bypass, and instead of turning south, turn north onto Matlock Road. Drive till you cross the lake, then turn right into the boathouse parking lot. Park, hash hash hash.

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