3rd Annual Screw It Up the Rear V-Day Hash

3rd Annual Screw It Up the Rear V-Day HashCum frolic like cherubs as we celebrate this upcumming holidays of love and friendship with treats along the way. The best dressed cupid costume wins a special prize from BUTRz. $7 for experienced flyers, free for first-timers.

When: Saturday, Feb 13 at 3 PM
Where: TBA
How much: $7, virgins are free

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The Getting Off While Getting Off Your Lazy Ass Bash! 2/7 @ 2pm

The Getting Off While Getting Off Your Lazy Ass BashFuck winter was long. I forgot what having a proper bash even feels like anymore (excluding the Robert Burn’s Hash/Bash that is…)

Weather is supposed to be nice and sunny. Should be a fine time for all ya crank-wankers and crank-wankerettes! Never been bashing before? Bring a bike and join!

Cum to a bash before? That’ll be $6. Those who have never cum (virgins) are free. Spread the word and lets get the bash year of 2016 off! 😉

When: Sunday, Feb 7 at 2 PM
Where: TBA
How much: $6, virgins are free

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The Sunny, Pleasant Antarctica Hash 1/30 @ 3pm

The Sunny, Pleasant Antarctica Hash<OK, it’s supposed to be 54 degrees and mostly sunny on Saturday for the Antarctica hash, so what was supposed to be a miserably cold late-January slog might end up to be a pleasant mild walk in the park (literally). Stupid Indiana weather. Oh, btw, if dogs participate they should be on a leash.>

Original hash intro follows: “On January 30, 1820, some white guy named Edward Bransfield claimed to be the first person to see the Antarctic Peninsula. On this trail, you may relive Bransfield’s exciting discovery via a snowy snowbound snowfest in the snowy woods of snowish Southern Indiana.

Or, it may be a perfectly nice day. It’s Indiana in January. Who knows. There’ll be beer either way.”

The trail will cost you $7 if you’re experienced, and a mere nothing if this is your first hash trail. Your hares will be White Lightning and a virgin, and the beer will be cold, even if we’re not. On on.

When: Saturday, January 30 at 3 PM
Where: TBA
How much: $7 if you’re experienced, and a mere nothing if this is your first hash trail

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2nd Annual Robbie Burns Dinner Hash n Bash 1/24 @ 3pm

2nd Annual Robbie Burns Dinner Hash n Bash“Freedom and Whisky gang thegither,
Tak oft yer dram!
Lace yer running bits, straddle yer bike,
Lest we a’ ur damned!”
– Robert Fucking Burns, aka The Bard

Cum out to celebrate Robbie Burns Day (Scootlund’s second National Day) this January 24 with a festive fair trail through Bloomington’s many fine lochs — Nessie sightings ur a wee possibility!

This year we ur daein’ something extra special: a combined hash/bash trail. Feel free tae run, donder, or cycle. Whitevur lifts yer kilt. Trail wull be friendly to runners and walkers, as well as all bike types, levels o’ fitness and skill. Ye wull ainlie need a girth o’ enthusiasm ‘n’ a stoatin thirst.

Event will again include a running/rolling supper. Na, ya didnae read that wrong! Cum have a cup of cock-a-leekie soup (yes, I promise it is real…and that no cocks were hurt in its making), some smoked posh fish ‘n’ neeps, a tae o’ eggies, a wee bit o’ the haggis, shortbread, some fine ales and perhaps even a shot or two of scotch.

Hares: Psychadelic Cum Fountain and Gaelick Pasties
Bares: Lick Herp Package and F. Lotts Pittsgerald

First time lasses and lads dram ‘n’ run/ride for free, but pay $8 for supper ‘n’ an extra braw selection of quality swally.
Kilters wae hae awready promised loyalty tae William Wallace pay $7 for trail, or $15 for trail and supper (a wee cost fur proper freedom).

Wanks shuid feel free tae participate in as muckle or wee o’ th’ festivities as thay wish, though we recommend sharing supper wi’ th’ hares/bares. It promises tae be a richt guid time wi’ a pure dead brilliant menu.

Appropriate dress (kilt and sporran, or at least some plaid and tweed) strongly encouraged, but not required. Painting one’s face Braveheart style also encouraged, but still not required.

Quick details for the event:
This event is a *little* more managed than normal hashes. The $15 price reflects special parts of trail included such as Scotch toastings, Scottish beer, and a rolling dinner (4 courses along the way!) We highly recommend this option as you’ll look awkward refusing alcohol and incredible food. We don’t want you to look awkward, so please let us know if the price is a problem for you. (Regulars $15 trail and feast [$7 for trail only]
Virgins $8 trail and feast (free for trail only)].

Who: You, specifically, hashers, bashers and virgins of all types are welcome at this event. You’ll meet two hares and two bares who will lay trail together to each beer stop (likely 4 of them).
You get to choose your trail: will you hash or will you bash (hashing with a bike)?

What: This trail brings together the best aspects of hashing and bashing by rejoicing with our sister group while still choosing your favorite mode of travel (or maybe something new) to find beer. This event includes a 4-course rolling dinner, special beer, Scotch and really shitty company.

When: Although Burns Night is typically January 25, we’re taking advantage of the Hash and Bash dates for 1/24.

Where: Whoa, whoa, slow down, we’re not there yet!

Why: We’re celebrating the life of the Scottish bard Robbie Burns and world-famous poet. You may know him through singing Auld Lang Syne on NYE before the ball drops. It’s the most covered song on planet earth, right behind “Happy Birthday.” He did a lot of cool other shit too. People all around the world celebrate this date.

How: Great Scottish booze, a shitty trail, decent people.
Kilts are highly encouraged.

When: Sunday, January 24 at 3 PM
Where: TBA
How much: Regulars $15 trail and feast ($7 for trail only), Virgins $8 trail and feast (free for trail only)

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Beer is Coming! hash 1/16 @ 3pm

Beer is Coming!$7 Experienced Hashers, free for first-timers.


Hares: ET and BBBG!

Shiggy level: Shiggy
Urban level: Urbanish

“Beer is Coming” is the motto of your half-minded hares, some of the great hashers of Blooming Fools. The meaning behind these words is one of constant vigilance and thirst. The Hares, being the lords of the westside redneck Bloomington, strive to always be prepared for the coming of beer, which hits their lands the hardest. The inevitable truth of the words are mentioned by other hasher, who occasionally note that sooner or later, the Hares are always right.

Trail is dog friendly.

When: Saturday, January 16 at 3 PM
Where: Monroe County YMCA Northwest
1375 N Wellness Way, Bloomington, Indiana 47404
How much: $7 Experienced Hashers, free for first-timers.


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Feast of the Circuscision (Observed) Hash 1/2 @ 3pm

Feast of the CircuscisionBelieving January 2 to be the Feast of the Circumcision, Circuscision found himself overcum with half-minded glee. So he cut short the discussion and snatched the date of the first regular(?!) hash of the New Year. It turns out, however, that Circus’s half-minded nature extends also to his half-intact memory insofar as the Feast of the Circumcision falls on January 1. An uppercut to his pride notwithstanding, with his glee cut short and his shortcut long, Circus enjoined Weird Al Spankabitch—who had cut his teeth, or at least his head <wsh?!>—on a previous haring venture at Cutright(!), to assist him in cutting a path for wankers to find beer. So let us cut to the chase. With no malice aforeskin, your well-cut hares invite you to a hash mohel fun than your half-minds can conjure on Saturday January 2, the Feast of the Circuscision (Observed).

Hares: Circuscision and Weird Al Spankabitch
Shiggy level: 3 (some ready made paths & some trail blazing maybe wet)
Cost: $7 for members of the church, free for uncircuscised virgins.
Where: the dog park on the North end of Griffy Reservoir <map>
When: 3pm this Saturday, January 2nd
Why: hashing!

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Reindeer Games Full Moon Hash 12/25 @ 7pm

Reindeer Games Full Moon Hash“Santa’s Reindeer Games”

We’ve got our little holes workin’ hard
From the trains and blows and nards!
Hurry now cause Santa’s a-waitin’
Hashers marchin’ out the door–
Carrying’ their drinks galore
For Santa’s reindeer games!

This is more than just another reindeer ride,
Not a practice run in July!
We’ve got to load up all the festive gear:
Lube and beads and heavy-duty beer
For Santa’s reindeer games!

Punish the r*acists who first find Rudolph’s nose,
But we know the DFLs are so fucking slow!
We’d love to sing our little hashing songs,
Tuck away your lacy thongs
Just to see the wanker faces!

Tonight the world is filled with cheer
Deeper than the games and beer
It’s time to load up the sleigh
For Santa’s reindeer games!

Come play in toy land Christmas night with your hares Nuns Shall Pass and Gaelic(k) Pasties!
First-time elves are free; naughty boys and girls are $7

When: Friday, 12/25 at 7:00pm
Where: Top Floor, 4th Street Garage, 105 W. 4th Street, 47404
How Much: $7, virgins are free

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19th Annual Jingle Balls Hash 12/19 @ 2pm

Happy Holidays! Let's celebrate with beer!

Happy Holidays! Let’s celebrate with beer!

Jingle Balls
Jingle Balls
Jingle Balls rocks
Jingle Balls swings and jingle bells ring
Hashing and drinking and barrels of beer
It’s that Jingle Balls time of yeaaaaar!

That’s right wanks, it’s time for the annual BFH3 Jingle Balls Hash!

First, we’ll hash. We will hash starting at 2:00 PM (TWO PEE EM!) so that everywank has plenty of time to drink beer and sing songs and r*n (or skip, or hike, or take a leisurely stroll) and drink some more beer and sing some more songs and still have time to go home & make themselves presentable for the Jingle Ball starting at 7:00.

*** You must rego to come the ball! ***
*** You must rego to come the ball! ***
*** You must rego to come the ball! ***

Date: Saturday, December 19, 2015
Time: 2:00 PM
Location: Morgan Monroe State Forest, Bryant Creek Shelter
GPS: 39.324519, -86.474305
Hash only price: $7 for experienced half-minds, $0 for the virginal

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21st Amendment Hash 12/5 @ 3pm

WL & Ship for Brains HashOn December 5, 1933, the 21st Amendment to the Constitution was ratified by Utah, of all places, ending Prohibition and generally allowing everyone who was already drinking to relax around their uptight rat-fink snitching friends. This Saturday, we’ll be honoring our forefathers and foremothers and fore-non-procreating-antecedents who were involved in repealing the evil 18th Amendment with a shiggy hash trail starting from Rev. Ernest Butler Park, otherwise known as Ninth Street Park, in Bloomington. Your hares will be two veteran trail-layers: Ship for Brains (who is emerging from his too-long hash absence!) and White Lightning, and we’re going to lay trail like it’s 1999! (That’s not a cliché, we were laying trails just like this one in 1999. Except these days the beer is a lot better.)

It’s going to cost you an ultra-modern $7 to participate, unless this is your first hash ever, in which case you’ll join us for free (still cheep after all these years!) The trail will start from the western end of Ninth Street Park. To get there, follow this map: https://goo.gl/maps/3ZXi8wHgHK42

(PS: Never fear, we should be done in time for the Krampus Night Parade, unless something goes majorly wrong, since the parade starts on the B-Line at 6:00pm.)

When: Saturday, 12/5 at 3:00pm – 6:00pm
Where: Rev. Ernest D. Butler Park – 812 W 9th St, Bloomington, Indiana 47404
How Much: $7, virgins are free

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The Fuck It’s Getting Cold Post Thanksgiving Bash 11/29 @ 2pm

The Fuck It's Getting Cold Post Thanksgiving BashFor all of you’s recovered from Thanksgiving and ready to brave the (more than likely cold) weather whilst on a bike, this bash is for you! Due to hibernating bears, this will be the first bash in at least a month so expect good things, specially since me–Lick Herp Package–and Slowly Stroking (stroke! stroke!) will be your bears.

Virgins are of course free–everyone else bring $6. Make sure you bring your ID, too–there is potential for a beer check in one of Bloomington’s fine beer establishments as well.

Where: Boner’s Lot <map>
When: Sunday, 11/29 @ 2pm
How much: $6, virgins are free

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