It’s that time of year…when the hands of hashers all over Bloomington get warm and sweaty thinking about who they’ll see at the hash social event of the season…the 14th annual BLOOMING FOOLS RED DRESS HASH!
It’s all happening on Saturday, April 21, starting at 2 p.m. from the Waterfall Shelter in Lower Cascades Park on the northside of Bloomington. Don’t be fashionably late.
The BFH3 Red Dress Hash is our annual celebration of the great international Red Dress Hash tradition, and all you need to participate is a red dress (well, and some cash to pony up for beer and food, you cheapskate). Everyone on the trail wears a red dress–hares, harriers, harriettes, dogs, whatever–and it takes place during the equally awesome Indiana University tradition of Little 500 weekend!
What do you get for your hash cash, you ask?
* A devious trail laid by hares extraordinaire Titwad and Psychedelic Cumfountain through plenty of human shiggy
* Beer, snacks, beer, orange food, beer, probably sugar wafers, beer, alternative beverages if you want ‘em, and beer
* A goodie to wear every day for the rest of your life
* More fabulous fashion moments than you’ve had all year (admit it)
Following the trail, join your fellow Red Dress hashers for an elegant and lovely on-after dinner featuring the epicurean delights of resident BFH3 chef Mothershucker, who is planning a special menu to befit the occasion. Mothershucker says he’s saving up his culinary creativity so he can really put out for the Red Dress, so you know it’s going to be awesome. The parties surrounding the Kentucky Derby got nothing on us, seriously.
How much is this event, you’re asking? For the trail alone — including beer, snacks, and the goodie — the price is only $12 (cheep!). For the trail and the on-after picnic, the price is a mere $22 (still cheep!). And if you’re stuck and can’t make the trail but still want to cum to the on-after, you can do that too: the price (minus goodie, sorry) is $10 (cheeep!).
If you’re cumming, you can now register USING THE LINK ON THIS WEBSITE. We’ve got a spiffy Paypal account set up so we can take your money more efficiently than ever. If you want to pay cash, get it to a member of mismanagement by April 14. Don’t just show up, we may not have a goodie for you, and if you miss the goodie, you’re gonna be sad. We don’t want you to be sad.
So shop now before the best dresses are gone, and we’ll see you at the BFH3 Red Dress Hash on April 21! ON ON!
Directions: To get to Lower Cascades Park, take Walnut north from downtown Bloomington past 17th Street, and turn left at the first crossover after Miller-Showers Park. Cross College Avenue, and proceed down Old Indiana 37 into the park. Look for the well-dressed hashers commingling in the park (but don’t look too hard, because they may be so fabulous they’ll cause permanent eye damage).
Or, if you’re coming from 37, take the College Ave. exit, and take the first right after the 45/46 bypass (if you pass Steak and Shake, you’ve gone too far). Cruise through the park, look for hashers, park, hash, look awesome.
If you’re looking to hang with the wanks at other times on Red Dress weekend, you can start by meeting us for Hash Practice, where we hone our skills at the drinking part of hashing. It will begin at 5:30 at Jake’s Nightclub and Bar, 419 N. Walnut. We usually go on to dinner someplace nearby or bring food into Jake’s.
Voulez-vous hashez avec moi? Don’t go breakin’ my heart, all you Village Wankers. If you’re not Dancing with Dirt, you need to Disco with Shiggy. It’s time to grab your disco balls, don your leisure suits, slip on your platform FiveFingers, and hustle on over to Brown County State Park to do the Hoosier Jungle Boogie. Looking for some afternoon delight? Wanna turn your Saturday night fever into a disco inferno? Here’s your chance to boogie-oogie-oogie in the shiggy, to show how you’re a macho man and more than a woman (to me), to (electric) slide down a hill on your ass, disco duck under a log, and go four on the floor of the forest. So if you’re keen on stayin’ alive, then chase a handful of orange Quaalewds with a fifth of Beethoven and come on out and shake your booty for some good times at Studio 69 with your hares Handersome Pooper and Circuscision.
