Hey, Saturday April 25 is the 16th or so ANNUAL BLOOMING FOOLS RED DRESS HASH!

For info, or to register, go over here: Link. Be there next Saturday, or be totally gauche.

rdr 2015 jpg

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Power of the Pussy Hash

1508162_975898092445152_5659135723621439507_nJoin your numerous pussy-powered hares Sweet Ho, Souzie Bee, Screwy, Tite, and PH at the first-ever not at all annual Power of the Pussy Hash!

There will be beer and thus far the weather is predicted to be a beauteous and mild 67 degrees and sunny. And there will be lots of sexy hashers there. And an on-site on-after for a mere $9! Oh, and beer.

WHAT? Yes! There will be beer! And possibly fun surprises!

Meet up at the parking lot behind the ranger station at the turnoff for Paynetown, a completely unique and not-at-all unimaginative location that we have definitely not hashed for at least 37 days.

AND we are shifting to our standard summer hash time, 4:00 PM!

Where: Ranger Station at Paynetown
When: 4:00 PM! We are shifting to summer schedule! FOUR PEE EM!
$6 for those experienced with pussy power, $0 for virgins
$9 for on-after

Directions: http://goo.gl/WPPCAa

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Cream in my BUTRz Birthday Hash

10996267_10101569805389484_4851315287849693738_nNearly 29 years ago BUTRz entered this world. Your hares BUTRz, Cream & Jerk, and Nordic Cream Horn will be helping (read: forcing) you all to celebrate this grand occasion by hashing through scenic Nashville, Indiana! The trail will involve numerous perils including water crossings (see below about a highly recommended change of clothing), shiggy, and butt-oriented puns!

You might be wondering what you must pay to attend such a wonderful party? Well, for all seasoned party goers trail will cost $6 but virgin party goers are free.

Trail will begin in the public parking at the end of Washington St. Make sure you park in the rear! The location provided under “Where” will get to the lot, but keep your eyes open for the proper entrance as you wouldn’t want to accidentally park in the wrong hole.

To continue celebrations after trail, current tentative On After is the upstairs bar of Big Woods on Van Buren (a.k.a. the main drive through Nashville). This is walk-able from start so prep a potential change of clothes in the car if you feel the need. NOTE: MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOU TRAVEL TO THE HASH WITH YOUR ID AND MONEY.

When: Saturday, March 28, 3:00pm
Where: 155-299 S Sycamore St, Nashville, IN 47448

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Super Pi Hash

11043331_986931911317273_9041068569858896656_oMath is hard, but it can also be tasty! Especially when all the hashers within a 314 mile radius converge on McCormick’s Creek State P-arc on Pi Day. And not just Pi Day. Super Pi Day: 3/14/15. (Which, tangentially, it’s also Steak and BJ Day.)

So cum join hares Sweet Ho Indiana and Hand’ersome Pooper on a trail laid round some of the most beautiful shiggy in Indiana. We will start from the Pine Bluff Shelter parking lot in the center of the park (see map). There will be beer, sweet surprises, and of course, the best circle in the area!

What: 3.1415926…
When: 3.14.15 at 3:14:15pm
Where: Pine Bluff Shelter, McCormick’s Creek State Park
How much: $6 for those who’ve already been a-round the block (cheap!), free for squares

Directions: From Bloomington, take IN 46 west through Ellettsville. Continue another 6.5 miles until you get to the sign for McCormick’s Creek State Park on the right. Drive into the park and follow signs for the pool. Drive past the parking lot for the pool and nature center and make the next right into the parking lot. Find hashers. Drink beer. Have fun.

Map: https://goo.gl/maps/o4V9a

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Full Worm Moon Hash

11010554_10205713552933666_6811187306853492576_nYour hare is Son of Gucci, and here’s the message he left for hashers:

Cum -celebrate the Full Worm Moon,
Raise rhyta and let our foot falls
Awaken worms to the sounds of Spring
and hashers harrying hares.
Brygos cup int drunk
Bring virgins that we may anoint their feet.

(Fine print: This is happening Thursday, March 5, starting at 6:30pm, from the IU Research and Teaching Preserve parking lot on North Headley Rd. The trail will cost a mere $6 if you’ve hashed before, or it’s free if you’ve never done a BFH3 hash trail in your life. To get to the start, take Fee Lane north across the bypass, like you’re going to Lake Griffy, but turn left into the parking lot once you’ve gone 0.8 miles on Headley Road. Carpool, carpool, carpool, because that’s a seriously tiny parking lot. On on!)

Map: http://goo.gl/kdXz9F

GPS: 39.191778, -86.511973


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Tooth Fairy Hash

224610_10205682377794307_6388809694345289403_nWho knew that the Tooth Fairy, that man/woman who steals into our children’s bedrooms and exchanges their teeth for a buck or so has his/her own holiday. Actually, he/she has two holidays: Feb 28 and Aug 22. We’ll celebrate the tooth thief’s existence with a teeth-rattling shiggy-filled winter extravaganza of a trail this Saturday, February 28, starting at 3 pm from the ranger station at Paynetown State Recreation Area, on State Road 446 south of Bloomington.

Your hares will be Mongolian Moneyshot, Princess Tiny Box and White Lightning, and there will be special beer check alcoholic frippery in honor of one of the hares’ recent life accomplishments. For veteran hashers, gallivanting about with the rest of the wankers will cost you $6. If you’ve never hashed before, it’ll cost you nothing, but you have to agree to come back because the next trail might be better.

Directions to the start: Take Third Street east to State Road 446 and turn right onto 446. Go 5.3 miles, and turn right into the Paynetown State Recreation Area. Take the first right and park behind the Paynetown Ranger Station. If you reach the shack where they charge you money to get in, you’ve gone too far. Park behind the ranger station, smell the fresh healthy winter air, and hash. (Please carpool, because there aren’t that many parking spaces behind the ranger station.) On on!

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Revenge of the Valentine’s Day Hash (A.K.A. The First Ever Lupercalia Festival)

It’s that time again wankers. Last year Screwy and BUTRz took you on a waltz around Bloomington following not flour but pictures posted on the hash event page. This year, barring an unforeseen blizzard, they’ll actually lay a trail you can follow, though no guarantee it will map out a heart. The trail will celebrate love, cumraderie, and bad decisions made after drinking.
Cum join use to help release health and fertility across Bloomington. For all you lonely hearts, trail will cost you $6 bucks. For all you non-lonely hearts, trail will cost you $6 bucks. Since virgins are highly prized, especially on valentines day, they hash for free.

The hash will start at the IU Cross Country Course parking lot at the usual 3:00 PM start time.

Note: We may be parked across the street due to the muddiness of the original cross country parking lot.

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Revenge of the Groundhog Fool Moon Hash

10968462_963601256983672_3221019092138068366_nFool moon hash with your wanking friends!

Where? Park Ridge East basketball courts
When? 7pm, Monday Feb 2 (hares away at 7:15pm)
Beer? You bet your sweet ass there’ll be beer!
Hares? Gargle Nuts and Hand’ersome Pooper
How much? $6 (cheap!) for hashers, $0 for virgins

Map – https://goo.gl/maps/PLa1v

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Ham the Chimp Hash

January 31st, 1961: Ham the Chimp (aka Ham the Astrochimp) became the first Hominidae launched into space. Ham’s name is an acronym for the lab which prepared him for his historic mission — the Holloman Aerospace Medical Center, located at Holloman Air Force Base in New Mexico.

10858629_10206025578345077_3887684982264569904_n Join your hares Circuscision and Nuns Shall Pass for a celebration of this historic event. We’ll have chimp-appropriate snacks at beer check and the usual monkey business. Monkey shoes are appropriate.

$6 for experienced chimps, virgin chimps are free (limit 1 per customer).

Trail starts at the Twin Lakes parking lot on 2nd Street near the ball fields at 3:00pm on Saturday, January 31.

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Robbie Burns Bash

10838210_10152654077043450_3101692689452920055_o“Freedom and Whisky gang thegither,
Tak oft yer dram!
Down yer heavy, straddle yer bike,
Lest we a’ ur damned!”
– Robert Fucking Burns, aka The Bard

Cum out to celebrate Robbie Burns Day (Scootlund’s second National Day) this January 25 at 2:00pm with a festive fair trail through Bloomington’s many fine lochs — Nessie sightings ur a wee possibility!

We’ll meet in the parking lot between the Bloomington Convention Center and High Speed Tire & Automotive (the parking lot cheekied up against the B-Line, 319 S Madison St.).

Event will include a rolling supper. Na, ya didnae read that wrong! Cum have a cup of cock-a-leekie soup (yes, I promise it is real…and that no cocks were hurt in its making), a bit o‘ the haggis, shortbread, some fine ales and perhaps even a shot or two of scotch.

Bares: Mothershucker, Gaelick Pasties ‘n’ F. Lotts Pittsgerald, wi’ a wee bit o’ hulp fae Biblio.

First time lasses and lads dram ‘n’ ride for free.
Kilters wae hae awready promised loyalty tae William Wallace pay $6 (a wee cost fur freedom).

Trail wull be friendly to all bike types, levels o’ fitness and skill. Ye wull ainlie need a girth o’ enthusiasm ‘n’ a stoatin thirst.

Appropriate dress (kilt and sporran, or at least some plaid and tweed) strongly encouraged, but not required. Painting one’s face Braveheart style also encouraged, but still not required.

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