Do you like to drink beer?
Do you like to hash run?
Do you like to be where they’re having all the fun?
Well grab yourself a beer, and bring it over here,
Rah! Rah! Rah!
Yo, class, listen up! The Blooming Fools are going BIG this year…BIG RED DRESS, that is! The 15th annual BFH3 Red Dress Hash is going Back to School, and we’re going back BIG…with a BIG trail, BIG goodies, BIG shiggy, BIG food, BIG beers, and BIG…(you name it, it’ll be big. We promise.) It starts April 20 — IU’s Little 500 Weekend — and when the party ends is up to you.
For the freshmen who don’t know what we’re talking about, the Blooming Fools Red Dress Hash is a special hash, our evocation of the glorious international Red Dress Hash tradition: Everyone on trail wears a red dress. Hares, harriettes, men, women, cats, dogs, pigf*ckers, everyone. If you don’t wear a Red Dress, you’re a serious nerdburger. At the end of trail, there’ll be a Big Hare and Harriette on Campus contest, so look your best!
You’ll be schooled on April 20 starting at 2 p.m. from the Cyclotron facility on the 45/46 Bypass. Directions are below.
Your hares for the human-shiggy-filled trail will be Professors Titwad and Psychedelic Cumfountain, both of whom have years of experience checking out student bodies and laying trail. And don’t worry, you’ll have something to show after graduation—the trail includes a couple of special goodies that you can keep forever. (Or until you get drunk and forget them somewhere. Same diff.)
Of course, going back to school isn’t free—but thanks to the BFH3 Foundation, you’re getting a major tuition break! If you’re an eternal student, and you want the full ride: trail and the post-trail party, it’ll be $22. If you only want to do the trail alone, with beer, snacks, and the goodies, without on-after (nerd!), it’ll cost you $12. If you can’t make the trail but want to cheat and just go to the on-after party, that’s fine with us-—it’ll cost you $10 for the on-after by itself (no goodie for you, sorry).
Apply for admission to one of the Blooming Fools’ BIGGEST hashes of the year on the Paypal link below this message. Don’t just RSVP on Facebook — you gotta pay to play at the Go Big Red Dress Hash! We accept Paypal, or if you prefer cash, get it to a member of mismanagement before April 13. If you don’t preregister by April 13, you may not get a goodie, and you’ll probably flunk all your classes and regret it for the rest of your life. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Unless you’re a hasher.
Start shopping now for your Red Dress, and join the Blooming Fools to GO BIG RED DRESS! On on!
2401 Milo B Sampson Ln
Bloomington, IN 47408
From downtown, head (who said head?) North on Walnut to the IN-45/46 East Bypass (aka “the Bypass”). Look for signs for Technology Park North and turn left/North onto Sampson Lane.
From Indy or farther North, head (I’ll take some of that!) toward Bloomington on IN-37 and exit toward Bloomington at IN-45/46. Follow The Bypass and do the same thing as in the previous paragraph.
Don’t forget: Blooming Fools hash weekends start with Hash Practice, starting at 5:30 on Friday night at the Atlas Bar at 209 S. College Avenue in Bloomington. If you’re behind on your studies, Hash Practice is your opportunity to cram some drinking in before you’re tested on Saturday. On on.