Hares Wha Hae, or, the Hares Address to their Hounds
at Blooming fools, poem
Scots, wha hae from Wallace bred,
Scots, wit hae these hares who led,
Welcome to your gory bed,—
Or to victorie.—
Now’s the day, and now’s the hour;
See the front o’ battle lour;
See approach proud the hash’s power,
Haggis and tatties.—
Who will be a-drunken-knave?
Who can find the trails na paved?
Who sae FRB limitless o brave?
—Let him turn and flie.—
Wha for Scotland’s king and law,
Freedom’s sword will strongly draw,
Free-Man stand, or Free-Man fall,
Let him follow trail.—
By Psycho and Gaelic Pasties’s woes and pains!
Wit your DFLs in gaggling chains!
Wha hounds will drain our dearest veins,
Let there be FREEDOM!
Lay the proud beer-nears low!
Victims fall going toe to toe!
Shitty beer’ll heavily flow!*
Hares bless thy Burns Hash!!!
*Wha beer will NAE be shitty! If it’s nae Scottish, it’s CRAAP!
Cum out to celebrate Rabbie Burns Day (Scootlund’s
second National Day) this January 21 with a festive
fair trail through Blooming fool’s many fine lochs —
Nessie sightings er a wee possibility!
This year we ur daein’ wha a bit special: a rollin’
suppa a seven courses. Na, ya didnae read that wrong!
Cum have a cup of cock-a-leekie soup (yes, I promise
it is real…and that no cocks were hurt in its
making), some smoked posh fish ‘n’ neeps, a tae o’
eggies, a wee bit o’ the haggis, shortbread, some fine
ales and even a shot or two of scotch.
**Donit be a cock bae shown up withae reservations,
fo’ Gaelic Pasties, aka Haggis, will be a screamin!**
Feel free tae run, donder, or waddle. Whitevur lifts
yer kilt. Trail wull be friendly to runners and
walkers, all levels o’ fitness and skill save the
cabers for a wae. Ye wull ainlie need a girth o’
enthusiasm ‘n’ a stoatin thirst.
We’ll meet by at the IU Memorial Stadium (the spot
cheekied up against those auld muckle guns on the West
side).
Hares: Gaelic Pasties n Psychadelic Cum Fountain
First time lasses and lads dram ‘n’ run for free, but
pay $20 for supper.
Kilters wae hae awready promised loyalty tae William
Wallace pay $25 for trail (a wee cost fur proper
freedom).
Wanks shuid feel freedom tae participate in Rabbie
Burns festivities as every Scot’s wish, as it
promises tae be a richt guid time wi’ a pure menu.
Appropriate dress (kilt and sporran, or at least some
plaid and tweed) strongly encouraged, but not
required. Painting one’s face Braveheart style also
encouraged, but hasen’t required.
Filthy, dirty English version:
Come out to celebrate ROBERT BURNS DAY (Scotland’s second national day) this January 21 with a festive trail through BFH3’s…land? You might find Nessie.
This is a special trail with a rolling dinner…on trail! Seven courses unless Gaelic Pasties gets too drunk to dish it out. There will be 100% delicious Scottish food. There will be Scottish-style beer and Scotch!
Don’t be an asshole and show up without me taking your reservation into account. I stay up for 3 days straight making the food and making sure I don’t run out. But, don’t let that stop you either. I’d rather you be an asshole and let me taunt you about it than decide to go to the library or something stupid (just kidding, I love libraries. You can go any other time besides January 21).
Feel free to run, walk, skip or do a fling through trail. Psycho and I will make a perfect trail.
Where: 2407 N Barbara Dr. Bloomington, IN 47408
Hares: Psycho and Garlic Pastries.
Trail dollars: $20 for virgins and $25 for hashers (it’s worth it, ask anyone who has come in the past).
This will be a really fun day. Gay, some would say.
Dress in a kilt if you can; it’s highly encouraged. Paint your face is you are brave. I like Brave <3
Men’s version:
When: Saturday, 1/21 at 2 PM
Where: 2407 N Barbara Dr. Bloomington, IN 47408
How much: $25, $20 for virgins
Rego at the event today!
