Like the prisoners in Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, you’ve spent the long, cold winter months cooped up inside in the dark staring at flickering images of the reality that awaits the stout of heart, the strong of liver, and the half of mind. Now the long wait is over. The snow is melted, and the time has cum for you to brush the scales from your eyes and step into the bright light of the sun. Who knows? If you’re lucky, you might even feel a little burning sensation (just be sure to ask his permission first!).
So don’t be Yellow! Boldly follow your hares, Circuscision and My Little Burning Sensation, into the wood. What wood? The Yellowwood! A place bereft of shiggy and devoid of water crossings. A wonderland of gentle grades where the hares are honest, the prose is purple, and the turkey will lie down with the eagle.
As an added enticement for you to break free of your wintry cell, the hares have it on questionable authority that there will be a Keister Egg Hunt! [UPDATE: Apparently no one wants Keister Eggs. So instead we will reprise our annual Easter Keg Hunt!!!]
The Cost: Free for Spring Chickens; $6 for Jaded Cave-Dwelling Wanks
The Place: Parking lot at the north end of Yellowwood Lake in Yellowwood State Forest
The Time: 3:00pm
