‘Twas past noon on Hashmas, when all around town
All the Half-Minds were restless, with spirits down;
The presents were opened, the family still there,
Dinner was eaten, without distraction, not anywhere;
The gifts now assembled, the trash out the door,
The Hashers were done with all of their chores;
“It’s time to get out, but where shall we go?
The bars aren’t open today – didn’t you know?”
When out about town, there arose such a clatter,
They ran to the door to see what was a-matter;
When, what to their bleary old eyes did appear?
A dashing young Hare with a case full of beer!
With tricks up his sleeve and a bag full of flour,
Dr. Grumpy did arrive at the 4 O’clock hour;
“Fear not loyal harriers, I have come to your aid,
Abandon your families, for trail I have laid!”
And off the hash went, on the merriest of ways,
To listen for whistles, rejoicing this day;
“We may hash through the shaggy, and get our socks wet,
But we’ll drink the beers, and 6 bucks he’ll get!”
Now come all ye hashers, to Goodwill in the East,
And let us all celebrate, on ales we shall feast;
Bring your new friend, the one who is hot,
The first one is free – pay, they shall not;
The hashers were all happy, and suitably drunk,
Some may have lost flour, but none lost their junk;
At the end of Grumpy’s trail, all were relieved,
“His trail did not kill us! Who would have believed?”
Around the bonfire, and warming up well,
The hash was concluding, with no on-after to sell;
But there’s more hashing this week, and all through next year,
Merry Hashmas to all, And to all a good Beer!
-Dr. Grumpy
