Break out your lederunterhosen; it’s time for Oktoberfest!
Your bares, F. Lots Pittsgerald and Hand’ersome Pooper, will take you on a lager-fueled Reise of autumnal Gedenkfeier beginning at Winslow Woods Park. German attire and gear are vorgeschlagen.
Bring: a bike, $6, Oktoberfest themed everything, Jungfrauen (virgins) are free
Expect: beer
Show up at: 4pm, Sontagg (Sunday) Oktober 4, Winslow Woods Park, 2301 S Highland Ave across the strasse from the YMCA
There will be a blood moon. There will be a super moon. There will be shiggy. There will beer. Cum. Cum drink beer and hash a shitty trail hared by Spreadsheets to the Wind and Starbust Mammories.
Shiggy socks/pants encouraged; cranial illumination highly encouraged. It’s getting dark earlier wanks; cum prepared.
There are plenty of fool moons, many of the blood variety. But there hasn’t been one like this since 1982 and it won’t happen again until 2033. See the amazingness at http://www.space.com/
Appropriately, trail begins at the BLEEDING Heartland Roller Derby Cardiac Arena parking lot.
$7 for those who have bled before.
Free for virgins.
When: Sunday, 9/27 at 7:00 pm
Where: 1801 N Curry Pike, Bloomington,
Your hares EweTube and Nordick CreamHorn will lead the half-minds through the shiggy of Morgan-Monroe forest and embark on a quest to find delicious beer.
$7 half-minds, $0 virgins
Driving direction from Bloomington Downtown:
Approx 18 min drive.
1. Take N Walnut St. Drive 3 miles
2. Turn right on N Old State Road 37. Drive 5 miles
3. Turn right on E Anderson Rd. Drive 4.3 miles
4. Turn left on N Bean Blossom Rd. Drive 2 miles
5. Turn left on Forest Rd and parking lot is right around the corner.
GPS coordinates: 39.310758, -86.428176
When: Saturday, 9/26 @ 4:00
Bust out your monocles, adorn yourselves with elegant attire, and join your bares Lick Herp Package and CockHome Syndrome for an elegant bash of extravagant proportions!
This posh bash will take you for a leisurely stroll through some of the luxurious and high-class neighborhoods of ye ole’ Bloomington.
Wear something fancy or something without sophistication–either way, we’ll take these ritzy one-percenter neighborhoods by storm!
When: Sunday, 9/20 @ 4pm
Where: Herp’s place, 415 E. Hillside Dr.
How much: $6, virgins are free
Fuck you! Fuck me! Fuck the moon! Fuck your bike! Fuck the new moon with us this Sunday, starting at 6:30pm and ending late as fuck. Its gonna be shitty and long, so strap on your strapon mother fuckers.
Bring a fucking bike. Bring a fucking light. And maybe a helmet if your liver isn’t feeling that fucking well. Fuck all, on on.
When: Sunday, 9/13 at 6:30pm
Where: Top of 4th street garage in between Walnut and College, Bloomington IN
Who: Bares are Herp, Pitts, and Shart
How much: $6, virgins are free
CockHome Syndrome and Weird Al Spankabitch will be haring a cat-themed hash! This is your chance to dress up like all college girls on Halloween…as a sexy cat!
Just as we know that some hashers are turkeys and some are eagles, in the famous words of legendary swim coach Bill Boomer, some athletes are more like cats, while some need to be trained like dogs. “I look at athletes in how they interact with the environment via the nervous system and I call it cats and dogs. A cat in the natural world lives, exists in that world, survives in that world in a totally different way than the dog does. The dog runs down their prey, they work hard and accomplish what their goals are in a pack. They are successful through work and volume. The cats burn really hot- after they have a short fast burn they may need 3 or 4 hours before they can work again.”
Whether you consider yourself a cat or a dog, we guarantee a good time….or at least some beer…
This is a cat friendly event, and while I suppose we’ll allow dog friendly folks, no actual dogs allowed. But, if you have trained your cats to go on walks, then please show off your awesome pussy!
Old cats: $7 hash cash
Virgin kitties: FREE
When: Saturday, 9/12 at 4:00 pm
Where: RCA Park, 1400 W RCA Park Drive, 47403
There will be Boobs! You will be Serviced!
Yes you’ve beered there bewhore! You probably came many many times! (I hope.) And if you didn’t then make sure you cum this time!! B/c why not?? Your naughty hares will do their very very best to make sure you get serviced in that long, hard, wet way you’ve cum to expect.
Do we promise it will be better than any t(r)ail you’ve ever laid or followed!? Well that depends on how many times you’ve cum! And remember – it’s not the size of the trail that counts or from wench it began, it’s the BEER.
Where to cum? Olcott Park <map>
When do you want to cum? Saturday, 8/29 at 4:00 PM
Will there be BEER?? Yes
Will there be t(r)ail? Much like you’ve cum to expect
How much? $7 for those already serviced, $0 for virgins!
Who are your hares? Boobs on Ice (the musical?), Womb Service, and Just Thomas
When: Friday, 8/28 at 7pm
What: Generic Fool Moon Hash
Where: Generic parking lot at the west end of Rev. Ernest D. Butler Park <map>
Why: Generic Beer
How much: $7 (for Generic Wankers); Free (for Generic Virgins)
Generic Hares: Circuscision and Starbust Mammaries
Generic shit just got real. Your hares Circuscision and Starbust Mammaries will lead you gently, trippingly from the wide open spaces of Rev. Ernest D. Butler Park through the Wild Wild Near West Side through areas known and unknown, hashed and unhashed (at least not by either of your trusty hares!).
Shiggy socks are recommended but not entirely necessary (no cuts on Circus, but that may have been an accident). Cranial illumination may be desirable but is also probably not necessary.
So cum join us on our decreasingly generic Fool Moon excursion for a brief but beery good time. On-On!
p.s. – If all goes well, we’ll be finishing up right around the start of the Movie in the (Rev. Ernest D. Butler) Park, coordinated by none other than our very own Handersome Pooper. So bring a blanket and experience Groundhog’s Day all over again all over again.
Note from the hares:
Shiggy socks and cranial illumination are strongly recommended.
Love,
your hares.
Whack away, fellow bashers! This shig-tastic bash (weather permitting) will take you on a spirit journey to a bountiful spring of spirits and other shitty libations. You’d be a square to pass this one up!
Trail will be (mainly) road bike friendly–socks of the shiggy variety would be ideal though.
Virgins are free–those broken in better cough up $6 upon arrival.
—Lick Herp Package
When: Sunday, 8/23 at 4pm
Where: 415 E. Hillside Dr, 47401
Start and end point is Kinsey’s Hash House, and we will be hashing, swimming (bring your togs or forever hold your pieces), and camping. Departure time is 9:30 am Sunday so you can get to the ANALVERSARY at Monroe!
Experienced swimmers $7
Tadpoles (virgins) free
Please RSVP if you are planning to camp afterwards: RSVP with tent and # of campers to the FB event, Johanna Salazar on FB, or jsalazar@Indiana.edu
FAQ
Q – Directions?
A – At the intersection of old and new 37 south of town, continue south like you’re going to the drive-in. You will drive almost exactly 1.5 miles and my house will be on the left. Number is on mailbox and house, dark blue-grey concrete block with white trim/doors (pictured at top). Note hares arrow on mailbox. Circle drive in front and gravel drive up hill to additional garage (hash house) out back.
Q – Where can I park?
A – Anywhere on my gravel and a little bit in the front yard. I have LOTS of gravel.You can NOT park in the middle yard due to septic.
Q – What should I bring?
A – Camping gear, if you want electric-extension cords and power strips, foods for the fire, snacks to share, beverages, etc. for the on-after. Towels and soaps if you want to shower – camp-style (SHORT) indoor showers will be had as needed.
Q – House Rules?
A – Please try to keep the dirt down by removing shoes before entering. Do not let my cats out under penalty of death. Please keep doors shut for AC to stay inside. Help yourself to toilets – on septic, so please put most TP in trash and flush only as needed.
Q – Cooking?
A – I have a grill and kitchen so we can cook whatever you bring.
Q – Drinks?
A – Please bring what you want. I will have some fridge/cooler space but it might be good to have extras…
Q – Can we have a fire?
A – Sure, I have a firepit, and I have some wood, so donations will be appreciated
Q – Can I bring my dog/canary/duck/cat?
A – Sure, if your animal is well-socialized and you keep it on a leash or in a cage. I do live on a highway. Aggressive pets are not welcome.
Q – Can Jo’s cats go outside?
A – ABSOLUTELY NOT! I live on a highway.
Q – What if I want to get really drunk?
A – Sure – if you plan to get drunk, bring enough alcohol to do that and plan to stay overnight – see above. Drunk driving is strongly discouraged.
Q – Can I bring a camper/RV?
A – Yes, but please PM me so we can be organized about parking it on a flat space.
This photo (taken since I bought the house) shows highlighted places to park – when you get here, you will see that much of the gravel is overgrown with grass since I’m trying a green driveway – I’ll mark the “edges” somehow (flour?) It is 2 cars wide in most places and you can park in the front/side yard near the concrete pad. You cannot park in the back except for the gravel.
When: 8/15 at 4pm (ends 8/16 at 9:30am)
Where: 7451 S. Old State Road 37, 47403 <map>
How much: Experienced swimmers $7, Tadpoles (virgins) free
