Not Another Back to School Hash

13886986_10102271419259664_4086996913075517340_nThis is not another back to school hash. In fact, by the looks of the weather forecast, chances are you may not even call it a hash. In fact, if the Olympic judges were around this hash Saturday, they’d probably give this group of delirious half minded hashers a gold medal in synchronized swimming. Alas, we’ll press on and persevere. In fact, we’ll probably pass Noah in a boat, mooning us with a couple of baboons. Don’t let all that dissuade you wanks from coming out. It’ll be one of the last times, not talking Revelations here, that we can enjoy ourselves without those meddling kids (read: undergrads). Solving mysteries on trail, however, is not allowed. In fact, actively dissuaded. One thing you can guarantee on, is that your hares Brings Up The Rear (just call him BUTRz) and Get A Classroom will provide you with an amazingly shitty trail… or at least a trail… well… maybe just beer… on second thought… at least this hash invite.

For folks who routinely read BUTRz ranty hash invites and have hashed before the cost is $7. For all you poor folks who have not (i.e., virgins), it’s free!

Hares: Brings Up The Rear & Get A Classroom
Start location: Park Ridge East Park (most likely the shelter)
Cost: $7 for hashers, Free for Virgins

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9/4 Bash-analversary (Bash #87)

Bash-analversary (Bash #87)This year’s bashelversary will be on our regularly scheduled bash date of 9/4, the Sunday of Labor Day Weekend, at our regular time (3:00p). It will run a little later than most bashes (perhaps plan ahead, if your half-mind is capable?), but most of us should have the following day off from work to recover before Tuesday!

Mismanagement will be baring the bashelversary trail. Herp and Pitts are planning a multi-beer-check route with a delicious cookout (we will have vegetarian options available!) and probably a fair amount of dope-ass games/contests at individual stops. It is sure to be the most interesting and well-lubricated trail of the summer.

And yes, I know everyone is a huge fan of the sweet, declicious taste of BRL 72, but mismanagement wants to live the good life (even just for the day) in celebration of the Blooming Fools Bash, so come with a nearly unquenchable thirst, and get excited to enjoy quality beers, ciders, and wine on trail before, during, and after the cookout!

Cost Info:
– If you have bashed more than 6 times this calendar year, the event is entirely free (the trail, the booze, and the food).
– If you haven’t been bashing regularly this year, but want to ride the trail, drink your fill, and join in on the feast, the cost is $10.
– If you haven’t been bashing regularly this year, but want to ride and drink your fill while skipping the feast, the cost is the normal price of $6.
– Virgins are highly encouraged to join us! To ride, drink, and eat, we would like $4 cost for food, but virgins may ride the trail and drink with the Blooming Fool Bashers for free like any other trail.

Herp and Pitts will be releasing more details regarding the route, drinks, food, etc. in the coming weeks. Hopefully, we can get an accurate head count to ensure a perfect celebration that everyone can enjoy. Actually, we will probably get really annoying as the date gets closer and we demand (repeatedly) an accurate head count.

But for now . . . On-On!

When: Sunday 9/4 at 3pm
Where: Boner’s Lot
How much? $10 or $6 or $4, read above

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2016 Libido Olympics

13557776_10208411941033734_134669738074451583_nSaturday, July 30 at 4 PM – 7 PM

Location: IUB Parking Operations, 310 S Fess Ave, Bloomington, Indiana

The 2016 Libido Games, hared by Tri-Harder and Three Hole Punched, will provide the best possible aphrodisiacs for peak performance. Wankers will enjoy world-class shiggy, hashing through the MDP (Mesolimbic Dopamine Pathway), compactly layed for maximum endurance. Assuming you will be wet during your pursuit for a high libido, a torch will be carried on trail, commemorating the Greek God Eros and the hapPenis he brings us. (No worries…there won’t actually be a flame….we’re not that responsible). Gold will be earned by all attending wankers. No training necessary, cum as you are. Your renewed libido will consume the need for any initially required refractory period, allowing the pursuit to cum to an end with multiple orgies in the midst of the Olympic Village. The village location will be announced once the torch has been brought back home – We don’t want any champions winning without us.
$7 for prior competitors
Free for new athletes

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Psychadelic Colorful Full-Moon Hash!

13770247_10107389558382629_1086338406012109655_nTuesday (7/19)/16) 7 PM – 9 PM
Start at Boner’s Lot. Boner’s Lot (300 W. Hillside Dr.)

With fond memories of their first full moon lay, Hentai and Herp thought it would be fun to re-live that experience once again.

Join them as they try their best to lay an even shittier, fuckier, wackier, and psychadelic trail than before! Big shoes to fill, they know, but it can and will be done.

Returning wanks better cough up $7 to attend–virgin wanks are free!

More details to cum…..

…..and here they are!

-hash is crazy rainbow color-themed so come decked out in some crazy colors. If it doesn’t make us hares color-blind, you didn’t do it right….

-damn Mother Nature is making things get slightly darker slightly earlier so bring some cranial lights

-minimal shiggy although who knows, your hares might get all evil up on this trail….

-true trail roughly 3 miles for DFLs; FRBs, prepare for some fun 😛

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Dog Days Hash

13614917_10209567702244990_4446875284799628303_nThe dog days of summer traditionally started with the July appearance and rise at sunrise of Sirius, the dog star, and the dog of Orion, the hunter. Join the Blooming Fools and your hares White Lightning and Three Hole Punched to celebrate the start of the dog days of 2016, and to hunt for the beer check amid the malicious shiggy of Yellowwood State Forest. The trail is generally dog-friendly, if your dog is able to vault the occasional downed tree.

BTW, in some places, the shiggy will be harsh, and in other places, the shiggy will be downright mean. I fell while I was scouting trail, my wallet came out of my pocket, and the shiggy made fun of my driver’s license picture. That’s how mean this shiggy is. The ticks were spraying each other with deet just to show how tough they are. Heck, my shoe came off in some ankle-deep mud, and the shiggy threw it in the other direction just to spite me. Mean shiggy! Just mean! You’ve been warned!

The Dog Days trail will start at 4:00pm on Saturday, July 16, at the Yellowwood State Forest HEADquarters parking lot off of Yellowwood Lake Road. Take 46 east from Bloomington to Yellowwood Road. (It’s on the left, and there’ll be a brown sign pointing left as you approach it.) Follow Yellowwood Road to the lake – you’ll wind around, cross an iron bridge, and turn left at a T. Then you’ll wind up and down hills until you come to a sign with directions; go right, not toward the dam. Pass a house on the left, pass the first campground on the left, and then turn left toward the Forest HEADquarters. Then park in one of the 10 spaces near the playground.

Yes, there are only about 10 spaces for parking, so please carpool!

Where: Yellowwood State Forest, Forest Office parking lot
When: Saturday, July 16, 4:00pm
How much: $7 for old dogs, free for first-time pups

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Cum visit Anal 500 and Wooden Rim Job on a gravel-y bash in the wonderful town of Gosport!

We will be leaving from our front lawn (side walk) at 3pm and embarking on a rather long, maybe 10 or 15 mile (true trail) journey. Don’t worry, there will be beer checks this time.

It will be long. It will be ribbed for her pleasure. Well, gravel-ed for her pleasure.


Brian and I just scouted the route. Be prepared for road, gravel, sand, water, grass, and uh, beer. Brian had a great time on his mountain bike. I had a pretty good time on my trucker.

When: Sunday, July 10, 3:00pm
Where: Grey Dog Gallery, 31 E Main St, Gosport, IN
How much: $6 for regulars, free for first-timers

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7/3 No Plans, No Friends, No Problem! – New Moon Bash

No Plans, No Friends, No Problem! - New Moon BashJoin Custom Shag and Nuns Shall Pass for a last minute clue bash for you wanks without plans.

It may be raining, so dress appropriately. Headlights (wsh?) and taillights are highly recommended.

We’ll start from the next to the top level of the parking garage.

While regular bashes will still be $6 for returners, bashers who do not wish to drink the provided beer can still have provided water/snacks for a $3 charge. We hope this will be more inviting for bashers who don’t drink, don’t enjoy beer, or wish to bring their own drinks to our events. We’ll make sure some cooler space is available for bashers who bring their own!

When: Sunday, 7/3 at 3pm
Where: 4th Street Garage, 105 W. 4th Street (next to top level)
How much: Drinkers $6, Non-Drinkers $3, Virgins $0

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‘Murica – F@ck Yeah! Hash

July 2 Holiday Weekend HashIt’s the greatest Independence Day celebration in the world for the greatest (F@ck that Trump pussy!) nation in the whole damn world. ‘Murica!

Your hares Cream and Jerk and Psychedelic Cumfountain will lead you deep into the heartland of ‘Murica (Ellettsville) where you can celebrate the awesomeness that is Independence Day in true ‘Murican style. Wear your best stars and bars (that’s red, white, and blue gitup for you hippies!) on trail as you find out exactly why ‘Murica is so great.

Shiggy level: 2 (water crossings and woods)

The cost of this shindig is $7 for true ‘Murican patriots, and free for all them immigrants who make it past that big ass wall and on to trail for the first time.

On-After will be at the end. We’ll have cookout food with all the fixins for a mere $8 more. BYOF (fireworks!) cause it ain’t ‘Murica unlessen we blow some shit up.

To summarize:
Trail only: $7
Trail and On-After: $15
Virgins trail: Free
Virgins trail + On-After: $8

Start location:
Take 46 towards downtown Ellettsville. After you cross over the bridge and hit the stoplight at 46 and Sale St, drive another 50 feet or so on 46 and look to the right. There are two gravel drives that lead back to a parking lot with storage units behind them. Turn right on either one. You found the start. Approximate GPS 39°14’07.9″N 86°37’24.2″W

If you are really in the mood to celebrate, join the hares for a prelube at 3pm at Kenny’s tavern, the best dive bar in Ellettsville that happens to just be across the street from the start. The beer special is $2.50 for the bottled beer of the month.

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6/26 Wet Hot American Bash!

Wet Hot American Bash!One year ago, some guy named Nunshallpass invited a very mild-mannered mail carrier to a hash and then a bash the following day. Said mail carrier was then introduced to the ways of the hash/bash world and found the mixture of shit beer and biking/running good. 3 bashes in, the mail carrier was hence-forth and forever more named as Lickherpackage!

To commemorate his year analversary into the realm of the Bloomingfools Hash/Bash, cum to his Wet Hot American Bash! It’ll be very wet (when is that not a good thing?) and super hawt. And also American–cause fuck yeah Merica’. Expect water and dress accordingly. You don’t have to get wet if you don’t want to but seriously, why would you wanna be that lame?

Extra points if you dress up like characters from Wet Hot American Summer cause weird 80’s clothing is silly and totally necessary.

Virgin bashers are free. Duh. Everyone else better cough up $6.

When: Sunday, June 26 at 3 PM
Where: Memorial Stadium, 1001 E 17th St, Bloomington, Indiana 47408

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6/17 – 6/19 BFH3 Analversary 19

BFH3 Analversary 19Registration for the Blooming Fools mostly-annual hash-family reunion campout, BFH3 Analversary 19, is now live!

Pre-Registration is *required* in order to attend Analversary, so please visit to register today!

Please note: Analversary is a BFH3-mostly event and pricing is supplemented from hash cash as a thank-you to our loyal wankers who hash with us all year round.

In light of this, *please* do not advertise Analversary as a travel hash opportunity or post the registration link to other kennel pages. Travelers, especially former fools, frequent visitors, and of course besties and partners of Fools are welcome to join us for our hash family weekend, but again, this event should not be advertised as a travel hash opportunity. Wankers with questions about this should contact the facebook account “JM Bloomingfools” or email

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